If Bill Hicks had lived he’d have got really fat and then died of that instead.
Some christians do. There’s a fork of the unification church.
What if he died by snu snu ?
I think we might be wearing bows, crossbows, slings, catapults or trebuchets more than a gun if he was shot, considering they had those other things to shoot him with.
pastor wearing a trebuchet on a chain
“Jesus was yeeted for your sins.”
If ancient Rome had had the electric chair as its method of execution, the equivalent of the sign of the cross would be a lot more animated.
A chair with a lightning bolt through it would honestly be kind of metal.
Though Christians tensing up, grimacing and shaking would be a lot more peculiar than them touching their forehead, belly and shoulders in succession.
All of them with their arms on the armrest and making an o-face before every meal would be pretty fun to watch.
Worshippers of Tupac do wear this.
Explicitly as an homage to the crucifix, though.
Also, this is part of a Bill Hicks bit about Kennedy.
Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he’s gonna want to see a [beep]ing cross, man? “Ohhh!” May be why he hasn’t shown up yet. “Man, they’re still wearing crosses. [beep] it, I’m not goin’, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes I might show up again, but … Let me bury fossil heads with you, Dad. [beep] ’em … Let’s [beep] with them! They’re [beep]in’ with me now, let’s get ’em. Give me that brontosaurus head, Dad.”
You know, kinda like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on, you know. “Thinkin’ of John, Jackie. We love him. Just tryin’ to keep that memory alive, baby.”
To shreds you say
true american dream
jesus has sus in it so that means G sus that means G sus is andrew tate and he is sus but whats sus about him . making people fool for his business
It’s too early for this shit.
Being that high, I mean.
wake a nd bake bruh
What if he drowned? Would the Catholics wear golden lakes?
Would baptisms be called “golden showers”?
Prolly just a water drop.
I’m also on board with this.
Have you tried to drown Jesus? You can’t even get the soles of his feet under the waterline.
flip him upside down?
Styrofoam boots
Does this mean St Peter held his gun sideways?
Supposedly was crucified upside down.
Too complicated. It would be a gold and diamond encrusted cartridge.
And we’d have enough holy relic fragments of the bullet which killed Jesus to supply an entire army’s ammunition needs.The bullet is a much better idea than a gun. The whole gun thing is kinda gaudy. I also like the “relic” angle of selling fragments to the believers
Haha imagine a little golden electric chair, or gallows, or lethal injection machine.
I would rock the fuck out of a Diamond encrusted gold guillotine.
and i could use it for my cigars! i’d have to start smoking
Hell if it were the gallows, wearing a necklace with a knot might have become prescribed religious attire.
Not that far off from neckties as standard office wear, to be honest.
I’d wear one of those if I could afford it
Bold of you to assume that I’m not.
