- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
We are a women’s only community, so please no male comments.
Edit: thanks all for reporting the hostile remarks! You really are an amazing group of people. Really appreciate how positive so many men have been as well. I see you all and value you ❤️
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I’m really looking forward coming back to this community tomorrow, with the knowledge that many deeply unpleasant people have been banned and will not be around anymore.
The moderators of this community do an exquisite job. Rules are enforced, but with kindness. All rule breaking is treated as an honest mistake, unless proven otherwise.
Even though this thread is filled with vitriol, there is no censorship. No comments were removed by moderators. Bans are not applied retroactively.
Thanks so much for the work you do for this community! Keep it up! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Hilde, I really appreciate it. We’re blessed to have some brilliant people here, which makes the job a lot easier!
Note to the men reading this, you can upvote comments you agree with freely.
Remember, the comment section on every internet post about feminism only goes to show, um, how provocative this kind of rhetoric is.
“I’m a hardcore racist and misogynist and I’m pissed I can’t express these views at work anymore.” - author.
I mean… Good? We nowadays have these things called “societal norms”, which means everyone needs to think before they open their big stupid mouths.
You know what real pros do? They were already aware of this, and were already doing this.
If you have to be taught these lessons now, well, take it as a learning opportunity. Expand your horizons. Enhance your compassion.
Legit, i read this out to the hubs (a white male) and his response was a bewildered “what the fuck are they doing that they have to be afraid??”
Jesus christ. I saw a thread in some other community the other day about Women’s Stuff and the men wah-wah-wahing like little babies about this sub were ridiculous. Same thing - in that thread some man was saying that when he replied to threads here he felt like he had to walk on eggshells.
You guys, all we want is one tiny corner of lemmy to ourselves. Somewhere we can talk about things that uniquely affect us -or- perhaps they affect men too but they affect us in a unique way due to our gender. And many men are cool with this concept and generally supportive (and a sincere thank you to those guys!) but a significant number are butthurt little babies about being unwanted here.
Those are the same butthurt little babies in the Fox News poll. If you can’t keep it civil in the workplace I don’t know what to tell you other than you’re a low-quality human. Have some fucking empathy.
Edit: here’s the post I was talking about.
I looked at that thread earlier and there were so many disgusting comments in there. It reminds me of why I left reddit a few years ago. The API changes and discussion of alternate places led me here, but I left primarily because of all the rampant misogyny, transphobia, racism, etc and the mods and admins who refused to do anything about it.
I really enjoy Blåhaj and the mods and admins here who actually care about kicking out bigots.
Also feel like this is very relevant here:
This, I miss the old Late Stage Capitalism Reddit circa 2016, 2015. I wish I could join a forum with those people again
99.44% of Lemmy is dominated by men.
One group out of thousand (maybe even tens of thousands by now!) asks men not to post.
The more emotional gender melts down.
It’s the circle of life.
Yep! They have the whole rest of lemmy to hang out in we’re literally ONE group. I saw the thread but I was heartened to see how many men were standing up for is, plus a man warned me about the thread so we could protect ourselves. There were so many men there moaning that they couldn’t come here and tell us we were wrong.
Both genders have the exact same amount of lemmy to hang out in. I dont understand why this community is so public if its meant to be a safe space. You can’t just post a sign that says “gurlz only” and expect it to actually work as a deterrent.
Thanks so much for dropping by! Ive had to ban you due to your behaviour, I hope you understand ❤️
You dont know what the hell you’re talking about, ask a trans guy, someone who has had both sets of experiences and whom you may actually listen to.
Or just talk about things without every single thread being about men and their shitty brittle little feelings and having to explain shit to them constantly because they’re dumber than rocks.
Kinda typing this on rocks right now, and they retain informatuon pretty well.
Love this, these men on Lemmy need some feminism 101 and some training. This is good for them and will improve the Lemmy community overall. (Which is why the misogynists are mad about it)
Lol i’m still getting replies whining about how it’s worse than hilter
To be fair, hilter was the wooooorst ;)
No he wasn’t, he never told poor mens that women could talk without their input! That’s a far greater crime!!
Getting an error on your link, but maybe that’s for the best.
I wonder if that post was deleted - if so, then it’s definitely for the best!
Unfortunately the link doesn’t work, could you tell me the name of the community? I’ve recently started using Reddit again because I lacked female content so much, knowing that such a community exists is amazing and I want to join
I would guess the link was to a post on the lemmyshitpost community on lemmyworld. There was a meme that mentioned this community and is now gone.
It was a meme about writing a “banger” comment and then deleting it to respect the women’s only rule. Discussion did what you would expect.
This community here at womensstuff is a women’s only place that is quite nice.
This is the community. The link is to another thread elsewhere where they were complaining about this community
White dude here, in the US, currently sitting at work. (Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request, but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.)
And I’m walking on fuckin’ sunshine over here because I’m nice to people and I got myself out of the Conservatism Spectrum Disorder shit that I was born into.
It’s funny how things work…
Being white? Fine. I’ve never been attacked for it, even by people who have very much the opposite of white privilege.
Being a dude? Also working out well. I have a hell of a sex drive for a middle aged dad-bodder, and of course there are attractive people at work, yet I have managed to not stalk or grab or attack or cat call anybody. (the exception for some of those is my wife, in a good way)
There are a whole lot of bad men out there. Being a good one requires recognizing that. If you’re already resisting that concept then you’re already way off track because we’re talking about half of humanity.
And if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, yeah maybe it’s some other toxic person’s fault, but make sure to take a long hard look at yourself too. That feeling of self-consciousness or embarrassment might be you starting to get it.
Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request
“Request?” Dude. Read the rules.
I should have sent a PM, but I want others to see this since you’re getting upvoted, and the mods here are courteous: do not treat a community’s #1 rule as a ‘request’ just because that rule says ‘women only’. I would never, ever comment here other than to point out the hypocrisy of such a violation.
The rules are printed many times, very visibly and unambiguously.
You want to discuss? You can make a post in some other community, linking this one.
…but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.
Sent from an ‘angry guy lurking’: Your comment, disrespecting a space like this, makes me feel far worse. You make me feel self-consciousness, like I’m walking on eggshells.
(Apologies, mods, please community ban me if that seems warranted).
I am mod and I absolutely never ban supportive people or delete supportive comments. We take a lot of manosphere shit here, and we all really do appreciate the men that have our backs. Obviously don’t comment again, but I honestly am grateful for you
I get that you think you’re being an ally here by defending us.
But what kind of ally directly disrespects their counterpart by ignoring the rules because they’re angry? What kind of ally then does this twice in the same thread after someone points it out? How are you being an “ally” by assuming we poor little weak women can’t handle our own defence?
The rule here is very clearly written:
It boils down to two words: “women only”. Which one didn’t you understand when you decided to be exactly like the men you’re castigating?
I would never, ever comment here other than to point out the hypocrisy of such a violation.
Seems like “rules for thee but not for me” if you think it’s okay for you to break the rules to comment but not @Zink.
Agreed. Was an angry impulse, sorry (and I should have PM’d him).
you are still breaking the rule. This again demonstrates that you think it’s okay to comment if it is “meta” somehow.
Hey, I get where you’re coming from, especially since everything calmed down before I checked the reply.
However, I want you to consider where I came from. Like literally what led me here. It was from my “All” feed. I don’t really recognize the name of this community, so it’s probably either my first time interacting with a post here, or I’ve interacted with the community in the past but was also ignorant of where the posts were coming from.
So when I referred to the “request,” it wasn’t because I read the rules and subscribed and then came in to plead that I get special rules. It was because I was close to tapping “Post” and I saw some caption text asking for only women to reply. That’s why I said anything.
One of the things that keeps me coming back to Lemmy every single day is being able to hear the direct words of people very different from me without having to go through algorithms and corporate filters. When it comes to communities on here dedicated to a certain demographic or to marginalized groups, it’s usually pretty clearly “X group and allies” because it’s more about having a safe space and less about exclusion or gatekeeping. And it seems like the decent folks here are no different!
And I’m not accusing you of the exclusion/gatekeeping stuff. I get that it was just a rush of anger with my wording and with you actually knowing the community rules, etc. But hey now thanks to this I’m going to subscribe and follow this community. And maybe I’ll break the letter of the law and comment again, but I’ll probably follow the spirit of the law 99% of the time. :)
Thanks Zink, but if you comment again I’ll ban you. I don’t like to ban people who are being supportive, but you’re knowingly breaking the rules so I’ll have to.
Zink thanks so much for popping by! As you mentioned we are women only, so please don’t comment again, thanks for understanding 😊
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“White men”(sexist and/or racist old dicksack) need to “walk on eggshells”(can no longer say racist and/or sexist thing in a corporate environment).
I hate that I remember how to speak Fox News.
Yep it’s not a nice language to speak
Only bigots are afraid to “speak freely” at work. I speak freely all the time, and at work, you just have to not be marginalising or belittling or degrading someone else while doing it.
To paraphrase a quote I really like:
“I say all the vile, racist and sexist shit I want to say, which is none. How much do you want to say?”
I don’t think that’s even true anymore. After winning the culture war, the bigots definitely seem more embolded to speak freely, at work or otherwise. Despite this, many to this day will express feeling like the powers that be are censoring them even though their political party dominates nearly every aspect of politics and public life.
I think this is an excellent point. Any reasonable person will accept a challenge if they unknowingly say or do anything inappropriate. Which they’re unlikely to do
You wouldn’t be walking on eggshells if you didn’t want to say shit that’d upset people
Look, i just think we should exterminate the brutes and enslave every category of person that doesnt include me. Why do you people need to be so god damn sensitive? Cant even say a ten minute long string of slurs in public anymore, for ****** ****** **** **** fucking ******'s sake.
Yep!
The snowflakes told me i shouldn’t say the n word, now my cheeks are all wet and my nose won’t stop runnibg. They’re all so sensitive and fragile it makes me sick, im shaking so much i cant even tie this anger noose i was going to use to kill myself out of anger. Their sensitivity hurts me so much; it’s not fair.
I have a right to oppress other groups! I’m being persecuted whhhyyy meeeeeeeee???
Telling me i can’t have chattel slaves means you hate freedom. Why do you hate freedom?
Can’t spew hate anymore without someone going ‘that’s not nice’. Political corectness gone mad.
Can’t we be awful to innocent bystanders in peace???
Shitting on men
No male comments
With all due respect, I do not believe this should be allowed, should it?
Terrible when men do this, no better when done by women
Gotta love this take on “shitting on”.
You: “Endure” mild criticism of broadcasting your point of view 24×7 in every conceivable locale (to the point you’re broadcasting it now in a group explicitly asking you not to do it).
We: Endure non-stop sexist comments, sexual advances, sexual assaults and, upon suggesting that perhaps this is not such a good idea, get dog-piled by men with hurt fee-fees, get doxxed, get threats of active sexual assault, and in extreme cases take beatings and even get murdered.
We are not the same. Our concerns are not the same. Don’t be a putz and pretend they are.
Hey, I am genuinely sympathetic to your concerns, and there’s no need to make it an attack. Moreover, I’m not supportive of people saying anything without regards of how it affects others - I genuinely despise people doing what you describe.
I’m only calling for basic ethics while you’re at it - it’s never a good idea to go after a certain extremely wide and diverse group of people (white men, in this case, but can be any other) and then restrict them from setting the record straight. Everyone has the right to stand up for themselves.
Without it, we get violent echo chambers that get more and more detached from reality, and also anger those that are targeted to no benefit, which is antithetical to a productive change.
Think of the manosphere bullshit that goes extremely violent, has absolutely nothing of valid substance and drowns any female voices. This is it. This is what you get over time if you ignore the other side.
And this is why male voices are going to spring up here - and women are gonna keep rightfully attacking the manosphere. No one needs the escalation of bullshit and angering that happens with it.
It’s an intellectual exercise for you. It’s reality for us
If you want to play with ethics the first fucking lesson you need to learn is they are not a bludgeon to beat people with on the internet claiming “I Am Morally Superior”
I am not, and it’s not meant to be a lesson or exercise.
I’m saying this kind of violation, however it may be a manifestation of experience and lived emotions, may end up exacerbating the problem. Also, the lived experiences of harassment, abuse and manipulations are by no means exclusive to women, as many men will subscribe to. Still, generalizing it to women or men being bad would be a terrible and unproductive idea.
It can lead followers astray and set others against them, leading to useless kind of radicalization that leaves one side angry and with a lost sight of the issue, and the other repulsed and not set to participate and help build something better.
This is what happened to radicals of both sides. No one on the other side listens to them anymore. Radical feminist became a slur, despite the reasonable origins, and masculism’s image has shifted from a movement for equality focused on men’s part to mostly manosphere shitheads going for patriarchy that hurts everybody. Everyone’s yelling, nothing productive gets done.
With all that said, I am genuinely sorry for what you experience, I have no intent to belittle it, and I do not allow men around me to behave the way you describe. This must be eliminated, and this is a big issue and danger still persisting in modern society.
Really not here to watch you furiously masturbate in endless paragraphs
Oh well, I knew it would end there.
Well we could just chase you off with horrifically abusive commentary, doxxing, rape threats and the usual methods but it seemed like too much work.
What I said is not in support of that, and I have to make it clear.
What you describe is criminal activity, and it should be so.
Lol. Lmfao. Hahahahaha
Have you considered the health benefits of eating 10k calories a day, then chasing the dragon off to dreamland every night?
Afraid to speak freely about what?
Yep!!!
Those last two words are never asked, nor answered.
Walking on eggshells = not able to say dumb racist shit without getting called out.
Tbh white women are equally as capable of saying racists shit, and work or not
Every time I start to feel bad for these men, I remember every time I was either victimized or made to feel uncomfortable on purpose and I no longer feel bad about it. I think there is an aspect of me that is able to sympathize, but a bigger part is fucking bitter and wants to see them get a taste of their own medicine.
You do realise not every man hurt you right? We have feelings too you know, attitudes like this is exactly why suicide in men is so high at the moment
oh is it my turn now?
ahem…
please read the rules. Women’s only community.
Sorry about how you’re feeling, I do sympathize, but please share it elsewhere.
I don’t care if it’s a women’s only community, the double standards is disgusting, how do you think it would go down if I went online and posted that I hate all women and want them to suffer because I had a couple of bad experiences
Thanks so much for popping by! We are women only and keep this a positive community so I’ve had to ban you. All the very best 💘
I will break the rules too just to reply to you. She does not use the word “hate” even once AND she starts avoiding generalizing by saying “these men”… and here you are taking it personally, so I can just assume that you are one of “these men”, further proved by how you come to a women’s only space and then disregard their feelings/needs, thank you for proving their point.
Suffer how? Suffer from the consequences of your own actions? Fine! Let every person on earth answer for their crimes against others.
Women have been walking on eggshells among other horrors for 99.9% of recorded history for no reason, but we haven’t had the privilege until very recently to call it out. Men have to suffer consequences by witnessing the harm of their own actions for .00000001% of history and expect everyone else to weep for them. Either take some responsibility or shut the fuck up and let us have our fucking MOMENT of justice.
Of course you don’t care. You’re a man! You simply must be heard. Especially when your precious fee-fees are hurt. We all know, after all, how fragile and emotional men are, what with all the hormones coursing through their bodies turning them into unreasoning, quivering piles of fraught emotion!
This whole thread and community is a bad solution to a real problem.
great opinion from someone who’s never ever commented on any post in this community save to complain about it being exclusionary after it pinged on the Upset Male Radar
I don’t sympathize anymore.
Your neeeeeeeeed to be heaaaaaaard is Not Our Problem
Don’t worry. If he goes another five minutes with more than two living women not worshipping his dick (one if his mom is dead), he’ll kill random strangers until it’s our problem.
Im getting popcorn. You’re great.
Maybe every man needs a good reminder why hurting others is wrong. If some don’t hurt people they have nothing to worry about. Maybe those who are so resistant to seeing positive change have heavy burdens they are carrying and should look inward instead of outward.
Very cool.
This isn’t the place for your feelings. You were, in fact, asked explicitly to not comment. Why the fuck did you think you were entitled to?
Do you have literally any self awareness?
Don’t actually answer any of that here. I already know the answer. I think the idea of this place was for it to be a place women could talk about stuff without being dogpiled by subhuman filth, and not need to spemd rhe entire conversation explaining incredibly basic ehit to ‘people’ who are determined to not understand it.
Tell you what, edit that comment with a link to an explanation of all your feelings. Promise I’ll be nice.
If it makes you feel any better, it’s actually a result of psychological warfare in a post-mutual destruction world.
This reminds me of a former colleague. He’d always complain that he can’t say anything at work anymore and humor is forbidden. Examples were: Our suppliers don’t issue bikini model calenders anymore, even though that was some harmless fun! Also hanging up bikini model calenders is not allowed anymore! It was just some harmless fun. And back then female colleagues didn’t complain when you told them to make coffee for you. They are so uncooperative and easily offended nowadays!
“You can’t even tell a coworker that you think she’s cute any more!”
My brother in Christ, the new intern doesn’t need comments on her looks from someone who is (1) higher than she is on the org chart and (2) older than her actual father. Just stop.
If you wouldn’t say it to a male coworker, don’t say it to any coworker. It’s not that hard.
Yes and then I get told from other people (even my boyfriend) that’s just nice of them. Fuck it I don’t want to hear from some old, higher up that I look good. Had to kneel down to do something at work and that guy said: oh so nice to have a woman kneeling in front of me. Yeah and then I’m paranoid and a snowflake. Just some innocent comment on my look for sure.
I would start wearing a fcking wire to work after that, provided you arent in a 2party state. Get your bag if u can, fuck that guy
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