For example, I was once hit by a car while I was cycling. Several people immediately got out of their cars to help, one of them was a nurse who stayed with me the whole time. The driver who hit me felt awful and helped me as much as he could.
Even though I burned with anger about the social / structural issues that led to my victimization, the actual people involved in the situation were all so kind and supportive.
In my experience, it’s actually hard to get people to be unkind to one another, it’s a minority of people who are inclined this way.
Another example: I was once checking out at a grocery store, and it was a self-checkout kiosk. The employee responsible for overseeing it all rung up my organic produce as conventional to save me money, she was indignant and righteous, and also looking out for me.
I have endless examples of this - love and kindness is practically beaming from people when they can afford to, when the circumstances allow them, when they’re not exhausted, burned out, or required by policy to harm you.
Even in the latter cases, a lot of people are nice to you and try to help you navigate the harmful social structure.
I am trans, and the DMV clerk was really nice to me and tried to warn me and walk me through the transphobic policies and what I could do about it.
Another DMV clerk actually congratulated me and was warm towards me when she realized I was trans.
I live in a very transphobic place, mind you - this is by all means “unusual” behavior, but I think people want to be nice, generally. They want to have positive experiences with one another, they want to be kind and warm.
As a trans person myself it makes me so happy to hear about your positive experiences. I’m also sorry that you live in a very transphobic place and I hope you can stay safe.
I am in the U.S. and I move to a better state next week actually - over a year of planning went into this, and I am making big sacrifices to make it happen, but I’m no longer safe in this state and need to leave.
I’ve had my healthcare denied by illegal anti-trans policies, and the state I live in has laws that prevent my gender from ever being recognized.
This means all my state documents, such as my driver’s license, must always say “male”, despite looking and living as a woman.
For example, a police officer I interacted with required ID and I gave him my passport (which has the correct marker on it), and when he looked me up in their state database, he put down “male” on the incident’s record because that’s what is required (despite only referring to me as a woman).
I think most people are pretty great, actually.
For example, I was once hit by a car while I was cycling. Several people immediately got out of their cars to help, one of them was a nurse who stayed with me the whole time. The driver who hit me felt awful and helped me as much as he could.
Even though I burned with anger about the social / structural issues that led to my victimization, the actual people involved in the situation were all so kind and supportive.
In my experience, it’s actually hard to get people to be unkind to one another, it’s a minority of people who are inclined this way.
Another example: I was once checking out at a grocery store, and it was a self-checkout kiosk. The employee responsible for overseeing it all rung up my organic produce as conventional to save me money, she was indignant and righteous, and also looking out for me.
I have endless examples of this - love and kindness is practically beaming from people when they can afford to, when the circumstances allow them, when they’re not exhausted, burned out, or required by policy to harm you.
Even in the latter cases, a lot of people are nice to you and try to help you navigate the harmful social structure.
I am trans, and the DMV clerk was really nice to me and tried to warn me and walk me through the transphobic policies and what I could do about it.
Another DMV clerk actually congratulated me and was warm towards me when she realized I was trans.
I live in a very transphobic place, mind you - this is by all means “unusual” behavior, but I think people want to be nice, generally. They want to have positive experiences with one another, they want to be kind and warm.
As a trans person myself it makes me so happy to hear about your positive experiences. I’m also sorry that you live in a very transphobic place and I hope you can stay safe.
I am in the U.S. and I move to a better state next week actually - over a year of planning went into this, and I am making big sacrifices to make it happen, but I’m no longer safe in this state and need to leave.
I’ve had my healthcare denied by illegal anti-trans policies, and the state I live in has laws that prevent my gender from ever being recognized.
This means all my state documents, such as my driver’s license, must always say “male”, despite looking and living as a woman.
For example, a police officer I interacted with required ID and I gave him my passport (which has the correct marker on it), and when he looked me up in their state database, he put down “male” on the incident’s record because that’s what is required (despite only referring to me as a woman).
That’s so awful. I’m from the US also but live in a state that isn’t like this. I hope the move to the safer state goes well.
I wish you didn’t have to deal with this at all. I’m so sorry. 😔