I got asked if I was a “raging feminist” because I have body hair. I didn’t even know how to respond

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I got accused of that once for simply saying I didn’t feel welcome on Lemmy as a woman.

Actually, that’s putting it lightly. What they said was a multi paragraph tirade attempting to trigger every trauma I had or might have explicitly because they thought “unwelcome” was still too welcome and, again explicitly stated by them, they thought women should suffer.

To be fair, they were downvoted to hell then banned for what they said, but in the same thread somebody accused me of being too extreme because I said I support job fairs for women, and they were very much the opposite of downvoted.

It seems to mostly be isolated to online spaces though. I bring up these “extremist” feminist topics IRL and people act like it was so obvious I didn’t even need to say it, even men.

That used to be me. I very nearly fell down the blackpill incel hole, long before those were terms, back when friendzone memes were all the rage. Two things really stopped that–one was that I was self aware and recognized it was a me problem, not a world problem, and the second was more or less a friend turning me into a brony (it was new at the time and was positivity that I really needed). In the end, learning to think critically and not feast on a diet of easy hate is the reason I’m not a complete dumpster fire excuse for a human being. Hate and anger are junk food for the mind, and while there’s nothing wrong with hating something or being angry, it’s easy to let them rule you and turn you into an angry, hateful person.

Are we prepared to talk about the subtle (or sometimes unsubtle) misogynist (plus intersections of transphobia, homophobia, and racism) streak on the Fediverse? I’ve gotten the weirdest pushback for relatively mild takes with such frequency I’ve come to expect it. I am not afraid to block anyone who is being a prick, but if anything I post gets a modicum of attention I have to avoid my inbox like the plague or be sealioned to death. I don’t remember it being this bad on reddit (but I think communities self-sorted better with a larger userbase).

So as someone who thinks they’re real funny, that’s a tad bid misandrist innit? /s

Not sure if I do actually belong here or not but I hate how misogynistic some people are when they don’t think about it. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to be around them.

I have however heard some things that I would consider a bit extreme like making femicide recieve worse punishments than regular homicide.

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I’ve been accused of this a fair bit. I couldn’t tell you how often I’ve talked about women’s issues to be told “but what about men… you’re being reverse exist etc”. I’ve lost count of how many men have said about “men’s rights” when it’s not a pie, more for us don’t mean less for them. It’s particularly nasty online, breathe a word about feminism and you can be attacked HARD.

I’ve had comments from women but far less so. I’ve been accused of thinking all men are bad when ones behaviour was creeping me out (turned out I was right). Sadly I’ve worked with a woman in the domestic abuse field who put the perpetrator first. She’d excuse and defend him, and was always talking about how hard life was for men and what “man hating feminists” had done to them. Unsurprisingly she was in an abusive relationship.

It seems feminism is a dirty word to a lot of people which is sad

This doesn’t happen to me much, but it happens to other women I know. I have a lot of male friends and I’ve talked to them over the years about their perspective on feminism, and what makes them say things critical of feminism. A lot of it comes down to a misunderstandings – take for instance the conflation between patriarchy (of a system) and sexism (of an individual). Or “#notallmen” – as women we don’t really care that it’s #notallmen, the fact of the matter is that because it’s enough men, it’s #yesallwomen; whereas to men this sounds like an accusation.

Of course, there’s some things that aren’t about miscommunications and are just philosophical differences. Expressing support for affirmative action, for instance, is likely to get one in hot water, no matter how politely you phrase it.

Back before my egg cracked, or my brain formed, the early teenage “lad” that was me may or may not have been part of the issue.

Sorry sisters, least I got better :/

I’ve not had that sort of garbage hurled at me, but have often experienced men irl lamenting about how women want special treatment, at the expense of men. Their logic is so tired, and exhausting. It’s this zero sum game, and they are somehow always receiving the short end of the stick, even though they enjoy all of the privilege and benefit of the patriarchy. They equivocate the fight for women to have the same treatment and rights as them to them being villainized or otherwise put down. These types of men, especially the cishet white guys, cannot look at themselves and recognize that the world as we know it is designed for them to have every opportunity, at the expense of everyone else. Me getting a promotion, or other women being given the chance to show that they are just as capable as men is somehow misandry. Remember, DEI bad; misogyny acceptable. It gets so old, so fast. And when I point out to them that their logic is problematic, they roll their eyes and talk about how unfairly men are treated.

It’s almost as if these toddlers masquerading as grown adult men, expect to be given things by default due to who they are. 🙄

Oh yeah, on Reddit I got called a feminazi or similar on the regular. Ironically it was usually in response to the most tepid of takes, while the actual radical stuff didn’t get anything … I guess they didn’t like the idea that someone might put up a fight?

Meanwhile, my sister in law said to my wife recently that DEI has gone too far … she’s a well paid executive, who if it weren’t for DEI would never have got her job. My other half has been trying to gently steer her back to sanity.

No, actually, now that I think about it… I’m taking this as a sign that I need to get more extreme with my feminism

I feel the same thing about combatting bigotry in all forms

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