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It becomes a habit if it isn’t already, a very harmful one to be sure. Thinking nobody likes you may inadvertently cause you to keep your guard up, to appear closed or uninterested. This signals people not to interact and thus closing the loop of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

The resulting loneliness is killing.

I had a friend group that was nice and very accommodating but after an arguement I had with someone I left and not one person came to talk to me, and I was forgotten within months, in that time I lost all my trust for them and I felt like a pariah, around that time I had a lot of panic attacks and it just got worse with self deprecation, telling myself that I got traumatised over very minor shit, that I’m abnormal and that I am mentally ill, and that if I am going to be treated badly then I might as well give them a reason to see me as a bad person, I felt comfortable in the control that being able to essentially destroy my presence in that community gave me

If I could travel back in time, I would visit my childhood self and gently explain how telling myself these negative things would shape how I think about and treat myself for years to come. I’m doing the work to undo that now, but the earlier you can break that habit of negative self-reflection the better.

I am already engaged in chat-based talk therapy with a long-distance clinical psychologist, but I’m not sure why I didn’t chat with her a lot. It’s just that I didn’t know what to talk about. The vents I mentioned, like “no one likes me,” are too general, and I have already told her about that. She gently challenged my mind to see if it’s true; if it is, then I came here for that.