I can’t tell you the number of times I have gotten into arguments to defend someone’s … non conformity to societally standard gender norms, societally standard sexual preferences, societally standard cisness (?), against some MAGA hat wearing dudebro…
Only for that very person, who was present with me, as I defended them verbally against some asshole, in person…
To then, some months or weeks later, literally scream at me when something completely unrelated to any of that upset them…
… and they throw every single rhetorical device and phrase at me that they throw at actual male chauvanists, and also simultaneously attempt to deride my insufficient amount of stereotypical macho manliness.
And this wasn’t a single person doing this.
It has been multiple people, many times, all self described leftists or liberals who all just immediately revert to all the insults they’d hurl at an avowed white neonazi.
Oh well, I guess I am at least used to constantly being misunderstood and shunned from society because of an inherent way that I am different from most people that I have no ability to fundamentally change.
intense deadpan stare to emphasize the galactic levels of irony
This is why all my friends are neurologically atypical.
Not to insult any neurotypicals reading this- it’s just so much easier when everyone involved expects things to be stated explicitly, and when something upsetting happens, everyone assumes that you didn’t mean it, there’s been a misunderstanding somewhere, let’s explain our side to each other, adjust our expectations, and move forward.
I second this. It’s a relief to be able to talk with other people and not worry about all the social performances we’re expected to keep up around neurotypicals. I can just say the things I’m trying to say and if I stumble with my words, everyone still gets my meaning. Nobody’s going to take an innocent comment as an insult, just because my tOnE oF vOiCe was “off.” Don’t feel like making eye contact? Awesome, I don’t either! If you want, we can have a full, rich conversation about our shared special interests, all while looking at literally anything except each other.
The idea is expressed for catharsis. It’s only going to push awful people further into caustic masculine behaviors. So it’s not actually directed at them, its target audience is other folk who have to deal with their awful behaviors.
As long as you’re not unnecessarily approaching strangers in public and you build trust in your personal relationships then you can safely ignore it.
Edit: actually you kind of need to once you understand the problem being described or your mental health will take a severe hit. Talking from experience here…
For some of us, like certain spans of the autistic spectrum, that really isn’t a simple ask.
Because we do worry. We do feel empathy. We can’t help but feel like we’re still being lumped in.
We are already so paranoid from a lifetime of being blamed for every little deviation that it’s just more of the same.
Fellow Autist here:
We are being lumped in.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have gotten into arguments to defend someone’s … non conformity to societally standard gender norms, societally standard sexual preferences, societally standard cisness (?), against some MAGA hat wearing dudebro…
Only for that very person, who was present with me, as I defended them verbally against some asshole, in person…
To then, some months or weeks later, literally scream at me when something completely unrelated to any of that upset them…
… and they throw every single rhetorical device and phrase at me that they throw at actual male chauvanists, and also simultaneously attempt to deride my insufficient amount of stereotypical macho manliness.
And this wasn’t a single person doing this.
It has been multiple people, many times, all self described leftists or liberals who all just immediately revert to all the insults they’d hurl at an avowed white neonazi.
Oh well, I guess I am at least used to constantly being misunderstood and shunned from society because of an inherent way that I am different from most people that I have no ability to fundamentally change.
intense deadpan stare to emphasize the galactic levels of irony
This is why all my friends are neurologically atypical.
Not to insult any neurotypicals reading this- it’s just so much easier when everyone involved expects things to be stated explicitly, and when something upsetting happens, everyone assumes that you didn’t mean it, there’s been a misunderstanding somewhere, let’s explain our side to each other, adjust our expectations, and move forward.
I second this. It’s a relief to be able to talk with other people and not worry about all the social performances we’re expected to keep up around neurotypicals. I can just say the things I’m trying to say and if I stumble with my words, everyone still gets my meaning. Nobody’s going to take an innocent comment as an insult, just because my tOnE oF vOiCe was “off.” Don’t feel like making eye contact? Awesome, I don’t either! If you want, we can have a full, rich conversation about our shared special interests, all while looking at literally anything except each other.
The idea is expressed for catharsis. It’s only going to push awful people further into caustic masculine behaviors. So it’s not actually directed at them, its target audience is other folk who have to deal with their awful behaviors.
As long as you’re not unnecessarily approaching strangers in public and you build trust in your personal relationships then you can safely ignore it.
Edit: actually you kind of need to once you understand the problem being described or your mental health will take a severe hit. Talking from experience here…