Yes you’re right. Few men have any idea how hard the world is for women and the constant fucking FEAR. Carefully managing men in interactions to keep them calm, avoiding certain places at certain times, scanning rooms of men to spot problem ones etc. There’s a reason “me too” happened and it really is all of us. And that’s before we get into the day to day marginalisation, dismissing, silencing etc.
The clothing thing always makes me laugh. This idea that women are dressing thinking “I’ll wear purple today to try to trick a man into liking me”. If it was that simple we wouldn’t need online dating! We’d just wear the magic clothing and get coupled up.
One coworker of mine told me in hushed tones like a conspiracy theorist about how lipstick and blush were invented so women can mimic the appearance of being sexual aroused, because (as he explained) during blood diverts to the lips and cheeks during sex. He kept going on about how fucked up this was, and I couldn’t quite tell what he thought of it exactly - is he saying it’s fucked up that women are coerced into being sexualized, or is he saying it’s fucked up that women use makeup to manipulate men?
What I would give to go back to that conversation, to walk through everything with him …
I have a horrible feeling he thought it was manipulative, based on similar conversations I’ve had with men. I wonder does he think make up tutorials are women saying “this colour is good because you look aroused without looking TOO aroused. You may want to take photos of yourself during sex to make sure you can match the colour exactly”.
Yes you’re right. Few men have any idea how hard the world is for women and the constant fucking FEAR. Carefully managing men in interactions to keep them calm, avoiding certain places at certain times, scanning rooms of men to spot problem ones etc. There’s a reason “me too” happened and it really is all of us. And that’s before we get into the day to day marginalisation, dismissing, silencing etc.
The clothing thing always makes me laugh. This idea that women are dressing thinking “I’ll wear purple today to try to trick a man into liking me”. If it was that simple we wouldn’t need online dating! We’d just wear the magic clothing and get coupled up.
One coworker of mine told me in hushed tones like a conspiracy theorist about how lipstick and blush were invented so women can mimic the appearance of being sexual aroused, because (as he explained) during blood diverts to the lips and cheeks during sex. He kept going on about how fucked up this was, and I couldn’t quite tell what he thought of it exactly - is he saying it’s fucked up that women are coerced into being sexualized, or is he saying it’s fucked up that women use makeup to manipulate men?
What I would give to go back to that conversation, to walk through everything with him …
I have a horrible feeling he thought it was manipulative, based on similar conversations I’ve had with men. I wonder does he think make up tutorials are women saying “this colour is good because you look aroused without looking TOO aroused. You may want to take photos of yourself during sex to make sure you can match the colour exactly”.