I’m from the US, so this might not apply outside of the US.
The problem you have when a woman has it “better” isn’t a woman’s fault. It is the fault of patriarchy.
An example is “male loneliness.” I acknowledge that there are factors that can make men isolated. Men don’t tend to support each other like women do. There are societal pressures that reinforce that.
When a man shows emotions, besides anger, he is shamed. The women that do it are indoctrinated in the patriarchy where men must be strong. (For any women reading this, support men here!) But remember, this still stems from the patriarchy. While women had to fight against a system that overwhelmingly didn’t benefit them, you are in a position where you can fight to dismantle a system that you are a part of! Band together, men! We support you, but it’s not our fight.
Another reason male loneliness gets blamed on women because women tend to be cautious around men. The reason for that is that when a man harms a woman, she has to rearrange her life around it. If he is brought to justice? She still needs to do the work of defending herself in court, being treated like a liar, being told she is overreacting. The fact of the matter is, still a lot of the time, the man does not face justice. When a woman tries to get support for a man hurting a woman, she is usually not believed. The situation can escalate or the woman is ostracized for “starting trouble.” The man continues living his life. Or the woman is believed, but the man gets a slap on the wrist at most. (The men will stick together here.)
That is, if the woman still has a life to still feel the effects.
So, in this case… Women are prioritizing their life over the feelings of a man. Does this bother you? Support women. Don’t defend one of your buddies that hurt another woman, let him face the consequences. Sounds hard? Women have had to fight for years to get the rights they have now, and it took time. So will this. You won’t likely see results right away, if at all. But that’s the life of someone fighting a system.
👏 👏 👏 This comment is fucking excellent. IME misogynistic men will support each other against a woman for example if on a rape jury. But day to day, men don’t emotionally support each other… yet loneliness often gets blamed on women being too “picky”. In many ways patriarchy really hurts men, it knifes them.
Few adult men are killed by adult women… yet plenty of us are killed by them. It shows the danger we’re at and why we’re careful.
I’m from the US, so this might not apply outside of the US.
The problem you have when a woman has it “better” isn’t a woman’s fault. It is the fault of patriarchy.
An example is “male loneliness.” I acknowledge that there are factors that can make men isolated. Men don’t tend to support each other like women do. There are societal pressures that reinforce that.
When a man shows emotions, besides anger, he is shamed. The women that do it are indoctrinated in the patriarchy where men must be strong. (For any women reading this, support men here!) But remember, this still stems from the patriarchy. While women had to fight against a system that overwhelmingly didn’t benefit them, you are in a position where you can fight to dismantle a system that you are a part of! Band together, men! We support you, but it’s not our fight.
Another reason male loneliness gets blamed on women because women tend to be cautious around men. The reason for that is that when a man harms a woman, she has to rearrange her life around it. If he is brought to justice? She still needs to do the work of defending herself in court, being treated like a liar, being told she is overreacting. The fact of the matter is, still a lot of the time, the man does not face justice. When a woman tries to get support for a man hurting a woman, she is usually not believed. The situation can escalate or the woman is ostracized for “starting trouble.” The man continues living his life. Or the woman is believed, but the man gets a slap on the wrist at most. (The men will stick together here.)
That is, if the woman still has a life to still feel the effects.
So, in this case… Women are prioritizing their life over the feelings of a man. Does this bother you? Support women. Don’t defend one of your buddies that hurt another woman, let him face the consequences. Sounds hard? Women have had to fight for years to get the rights they have now, and it took time. So will this. You won’t likely see results right away, if at all. But that’s the life of someone fighting a system.
👏 👏 👏 This comment is fucking excellent. IME misogynistic men will support each other against a woman for example if on a rape jury. But day to day, men don’t emotionally support each other… yet loneliness often gets blamed on women being too “picky”. In many ways patriarchy really hurts men, it knifes them.
Few adult men are killed by adult women… yet plenty of us are killed by them. It shows the danger we’re at and why we’re careful.