I’m currently in the process of separating from my partner and it’s bringing out the worst in me. Every request or angry “what do you expect me to do about XYZ?” triggers my “shut it down!” response and I end up being selfish and heartless. The house is in my name, I pay all the expenses and give my partner an allowance (she does work part time though), so I’m in a very strong position and I really don’t want to abuse it. But OTOH I also can’t just give in to every demand or we’d be (I’d be) bankrupt in months.

Ugh, my AuDHD is not making this easy.

OK, rant over. I’m not really looking for advice, just a hug <3

Yeah, it’s scary, right? Your whole life has been turned inside out.

Your wife being supportive will make things so much easier as you figure out what you want to do going forward.

There’s no rush. You can take things as slow as you need; do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. It’s also possible your feelings about what you want will change going forward. That’s pretty normal.

It’s also very normal for the pressure (do you know what I mean?) that caused your egg to crack to suddenly ease up, and make you start doubting yourself: whether you really want or deserve this. So be ready for that. Don’t forget that you’ve felt this way all your life!

And welcome to the fold! We’ve all been through exactly where you are right now.

Still waiting for approval for surgery here, but thank you so much as always for talking about your experiences. It’s really helpful to know what I might have to face going forward.

It does sound like your brain is playing tricks. Hope things calm down soon <3

Marriage went from “I guess we’ll figure this out” to “who gets the house” rather quickly…

Oh well, maybe I can find someone new who’s into women.

Yeah you did! Awesome!

I get to wear cozy sweaters and snuggle under blankets.

Thanks, I use Shea Moisture too. That smoothie smells good enough to eat (tastes horrible though).

I have all the hobbies (thanks ADHD), so it depends on how much I want to avoid the conversation. Usually “computers” is enough to signal “danger, she’s a nerd”.

Otherwise it depends on what the other person might find interesting. Gardening, clay pigeon shooting, piano, mathematics, baking, and amateur radio are all fun topics I can infodump on.

I really am a nerd.

Thanks for the tip!

Only if you have straight hair and we can swap :3

Aww you made my day, thank you 😭

Thanks! I wasn’t sure when I bought it but it seems to work.

I, er, don’t know. But I’m kind of curious now. I assume something like hand sanitizer?

It smells pretty good, though, although I can’t think of anything similar.

I practically lived off it when I was a student :3

Thank you! Here’s a better shot I took the other day:

That’s… a pretty cool gadget. Thanks!

Technology to the rescue :3

In the end I had to go get the levered corkscrew, and even then I only just managed it. Woah.