About your freezing up/dissociating: I too live with PTSD and sometimes I find my own patterns of behaviour to be very difficult to change.
But difficult just means difficult, not impossible, right? 💪🏽
Over time I think we can get better at coping with trauma ❤️🩹
Back before 7cups went to shit I used to volunteer there as a listener, taking chats from peers about their mental health.
A few lines into the chat I’d often get asked if I’m human. “Barely”, I’d think to myself, and then I’d reply with a simple “Yes”.
Sometimes the person would go on to request that I chat with them as a friend, and not as a professional. Which, of course, I’d struggle to accommodate as much as possible while simultaneously trying to explain that that’s just how I communicate 🫠