Bistable multivibrator
Non-state actor
Tabs for AI indentation, spaces for AI alignment
410,757,864,530 DEAD COMPUTERS

  • 26 Posts
  • 491 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • Hello, I’d like to punch you in the groin. Will you accept ~or would you like to learn more~?

    Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Did you say you accept?

    Ah, you don’t want to be punched in the groin. That’s OK, I understand. We value your painless existence very much.

    Now, obviously we cannot let you opt out of the Strictly Necessary punches in the groin. Surely you understand that if it’s necessary to punch you in the groin, your permission or lackthereof is irrelevant. Rest assured, this applies only when we really have to punch you in the groin.

    What, do you want me to list all the possible circumstances in which one might be obligated to punch you in the groin? Don’t be unreasonable, now. I’m sure you know it when you see it.

    That aside, I presume we can punch you in the groin for functional purposes? The kind that may not be strictly necessary, but serve a purpose in the functioning of our service.

    Oh, we can’t? It’s OK, you have the right to make that choice. We don’t judge. Anyway, we take it that you’re probably at least cool with us punching you in the groin for the purposes of analyzing your behavior to improve our groin punching. Let me know if you decide you don’t want us to do that anymore.

    Oh, I thought you were cooler than that. Alright, if you hate the working class and want to make it harder for the poor, overworked developers to improve your experience, we’ll do it your way. I guess we’ll have to make do with just the groin punches that are strictly necessary or for marketing purposes.

    Ah, aren’t you observant. Have you ever noticed that all the adverts you get are really terrible? That’s because advertisers need to be able to punch you in the groin to find out what you like and to make their ads more appealing to you. Just food for thought. But if you really insist…

    Fine, fine. Marketing groin punches are out. As for your question, no we don’t identify as an advertising company per se. But we are partnered with other companies that are in fact advertising companies. Would you like to adjust your preferences for our groin punching partners?

    Well maybe to you it looks like the opt-out process we just went through should also cover this part but can we really know if we don’t look?

    Who’s a good puppy? You’re a good puppy, yes you are! ❤️

    Will you deny us permission to punch you in the groin on behalf of AAAAAAAAAAA Inc. or will you not?

    OK, so we can only punch you in the groin on behalf of AAAAAAAAAAA Inc. for the purposes of Legitimate Interest?

    It means the kinds of purposes where there is a legitimate interest to punch you in the groin.

    Why would you ask if you didn’t want me to answer? Fine, that’s a no for Legitimate Interest based groin punching on behalf of AAAAAAAAAAA Inc.

    Will you deny us permission to punch you in the groin on behalf of AAAAAAAAAAB Inc. or will you not?

    Oh, we have a total of six hundred and sixteen thousand six hundred and sixty-six partners in our crotch impactizing network.

    Indeed, we are proud to have such a wide network of trusted allies.

    Ugh, fine. I guess I can check the end of the list to see if there’s a way to make a selection for all of them at once. Honestly, this form is starting to make me a bit dizzy as well.

    Wow, who knew flipping through all those pages would take so long. There’s a line in here that says “disagree to all”, but there’s no checkbox or anything. It’s just there. Clicking it doesn’t seem to change anything. You can probably assume it worked.

    Please calm down, we’re almost done. Would you like to accept and save?

    Well it sounds like I mean “accept and save the options you just set”, not the ones we offered initially, doesn’t it?

    Your groin punching settings have been applied. I don’t think there were any mistakes, but if you need to change the settings, you can find the form hidden somewhere in this house, assuming we remembered to put it there.








  • As an advocate of free software, it would be better if the so-called AI systems were free and open source software. I don’t think this is feasible. The models are trained on data that is, in part, incredibly proprietary. To “open source” these algorithms would mean to “open source” all media on the internet. Imagine convincing Disney to release all their movies under an open source license. Now imagine making everyone else do that too. That is what it would take to “open source” AI as it exists.






  • I’m a full bottle of wine in (which is not an invitation to remind me of what day of the week it is) and I will have to take the time to ingest the post in its full madness tomorrow, but the you managed to summarize my main objection to the simulation hypothesis very quickly and very succintly:

    Are the implications really that intriguing, beyond a “that’s wild duuude” you exhale alongside the weed smoke in your college dorm?

    The simulation hype is not just unfalsifiable, it doesn’t even have implications. Most religions at least have some normative claims or claim instrumental utility to go with their metaphysical claims, like “don’t eat shellfish unless you really need to or you will have a shitty afterlife”. The simulation hypothesis is just “maybe the math that described how stuff works is being calculated by a computer”, as if it makes any difference whether the universe runs on silicon, an abacus, some rocks in a desert, God’s own analytical engine, Microsoft Excel, or if our physical universe is actually the outermost reality out there. From our context it’s an intellectual dead end. At best, we might find a way to exploit the bugs and features of our simulation for our benefit, and that’s not a novel concept either. It’s called engineering (among other names).