I’m relieved alcohol just doesn’t appeal to me (for the exact same reasons you list); but fuck i wish it did. Same for stimulants. Painkillers do fuck-all; decent amount of red hair in my beard leads me to believe I hit that genetic lottery, it takes a shitload of anesthetic to numb any part of me

All I’ve got for escapism is anime and reading, and i’m desperately trying to be productive right now instead of falling into a months long content binge.

Food and cooking usually makes me happy, but I can’t keep doing that because I’m already fat and have an extensive family history of diabetes and heart issues. Food is just going to get more and more expensive as well.

I just want to be fucking happy and apparently that’s too much of an ask these days.