Me personally? I’ve become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women’s expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I’ve matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I’ve come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of ‘humor’ really is, and I regret it deeply.

  • jerry@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    41
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    I used to use “gay “ or “ retarded “ as negative adjectives, I no longer do because using someone’s being in a negative light is really mean, and I try not to be mean.

    • ManosTheHandsOfFate@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      “Gay” was one I never used. “Retarded” is one I don’t use any more but still admittedly find kind of funny. I spent a number of years as a kid in the 80s living in New England and for me it will always be “Re-tah-ded.”

      • SCB@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I miss “Retarded” so much for how it was used in slang but it’s pretty irredeemable as a word at this point. Nothing really replaced it as a call-out, which sucks.

        Even before it was considered offensive, I generally took the Michael Scott route with the word.

        I feel the same about the f-slur for gays. I’m in the LGBT + community and still miss that word too.

        • ManosTheHandsOfFate@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          1 year ago

          I think given enough time it could make a comeback. A few generations of people who used it to refer to the developmental disability will need to die off. Language changes and insults come and go. I’ll be dead for sure, but in the meantime when something inane is happening to me I can still go back to my childhood vocab and think to myself, “This is retarded.”

          • SCB@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            10
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            I am aware that it has synonyms, but it’s not just a substitute for idiot. It meant a specific thing

            • Bazoogle@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              6
              arrow-down
              4
              ·
              1 year ago

              It means someone has a developmental disability. But that is not how people used it. They used it to call someone an idiot, 100%. If someone did something dumb, they would retort “retard”. How is that not exactly how it was/is used? Call them a bafoon, hammerhead, numskull, nincompoop, a schnook, make up a word for all I care. But to use a word that describes someone with a developmental disability should not be used as an insult. Don’t complain about there not being a substitute when there’s hundreds of options. You just seem to want to use it.

              • SCB@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                10
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                A person you insulted in that was being an idiot, but you used a different, harsher word for specific effect.

                That’s what isn’t replaced. An S-tier idiot, described in one word.

              • kazerniel@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                It’s probably specific to my social circles, but in the late '00s some of my family and acquaintances started using certain vegetable and food names as synonyms for stupid person. E.g. “you carrot”, “you cake”. I guess this was a less openly offensive way of disparaging someone’s intelligence.

              • Event_Horizon@lemmy.ml
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                Is this a localised to the US thing? Here in Aus I’ve never heard removed being used as either an insult or linked to someone with a developmental disability. What context is it used in for a developmental disability?

        • Mammal@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          Nothing really replaced it as a call-out, which sucks.

          There are lots of words one can use: “Wanker”, “Idiot”, “Dumb-ass”.

            • ZodiacSF1969@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 year ago

              This is why this is such a stupid thing to get upset about. It’s hypocritical to argue against one word and accept the other.

          • SCB@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            Wanker is the closest in approximate meaning, but I’m not British

            If you’re British you’ll know what I mean. Wanker isn’t interchangeable with idiot 100%. There’s more… Edge?

            • Wanderer@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              7
              ·
              1 year ago

              Wanker isn’t close to retard.

              Wanker is someone that is an arsehole. Retard is someone who is an idiot.

              • SCB@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                So what you’re saying is you do agree with my point that there isn’t another perfect word for it, since wanker means “asshole idiot”

            • Reliant1087@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              1 year ago

              But isn’t using wanker as as insult sex negative?! /s

              P. S. I’ve always wanted to say ‘You bloody wanker’ after seeing British television as a child but haven’t had a chance so far.

      • jerry@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        1 year ago

        I grew up in the 80s so it was just standard slang until I really thought about it.

    • DrPop@lemmy.one
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      I only use the term gay with my friends who are all gay. But usually only when things are so positive it’s “gross”. I think context matters though as with everything.