My go-to is to ask what they like to do in their spare time.
A lot of the time you’ll get answers about how they have none or how it’s filled with chores, but you can always redirect and say, if you suddenly had a bunch of free time just for yourself, and you couldn’t use it to work, what would you fill it with?
In my mind the latter gets you down to what brings them joy, and in some cases how they want to see themselves, which can tell you a lot about a person.
Ugh, I hate this question so much!
What do you do in your spare time?
Stop, Patrick, you’re scaring them!
This is great - it will get people to talk about something they like. I love that - and I always try to stay curious when people are talking, poke them with whys and hows to really get them talking.
Sometimes the easy thing is to ask a question out of politeness, then not really listen and just wait to get to talk yourself. But focusing on active listening and understanding will bring you much deeper in a conversation and the person you’re talking to.
I like favorites. If you think about it, each person has a favorite for most things. They’ve lived their whole life and have landed on say a single food or movie as their favorite. I think talking about those things can really give you some insight on a person.
And as a bonus you can get the chance to branch out. If anyone ever says X is my favorite movie and I’ve never seen it, I’ll watch it. If it’s someone’s favorite it usually has something there worth experiencing.
When did you get your first Covid vaccine?
You hungry? Cause im starving!
How many toes do you have.
If Superman got in a fight with a T-Rex, who would win?
What music are you listening to at the moment?
Favourite bands can be divisive and sometimes people answer with what they think you want to hear. Current listens can be stuff you love, stuff you’ve discovered, stuff that’s catchy or stuff that’s a long term favourite.
Vanilla or chocolate? That might tell you how much fun you’ll have.
