As a woman I think a much better approach is “if it’s an appropriate situation go ahead and flirt, but pay attention to if she flirts back. And most importantly trust her words over her behavior.”
I’m not attracted to men, but I don’t mind them hitting on me in appropriate situations. I hate that I get asked out at work (not even public facing). Hell, there’s one man who I knew socially who hit on me, noticed I wasn’t reciprocating, then stopped and became platonically friendly instead. That made me trust him quite a bit actually.
I think a LOT of men just dont see the flirting as flirting anyway. They miss the side-eye (or mistake the nervous social side-eye). I know I missed a LOT of “signals”. I was better when she just said “hey I have a crush on you, do you feel the same?”
You’re probably more in-tune with the signals people show. With B/G relationships I feel there’s a lot of separation society puts inbetween the two so they dont really grow up together understanding each other. So here in the UK that would be separate gendered schooling, separate clubs and activities that are historically accessible or presumed upon each other.
Some people are oblivious to signs. A guy may be on the spectrum too. This is why growing up socializing is so important but with the internet we are more isolated from social cues than ever before.
I’m more saying that this is how some men talk themselves into hitting on someone in inappropriate situations, or (in their heads) blur the line without realizing. Missing signals isn’t only realizing years later that she was into you (a cliché story), but also “they’re just being friendly, it’s not flirting” (doesn’t get said enough)
As a man, when I was still dating, I loved when women made it clear they weren’t interested or had a boyfriend. They were some of my best friends. We could go out and have a good time and there wouldn’t be any sexual tension. We could talk about other people they liked or I liked. I’d wingman for them and they’d do the same for me.
I had one date where we planned on hanging out at her apartment to watch a movie and pretty much as soon as she invited me in she told me that she wasn’t interested in dating or doing anything with me. We were laughing and joking the whole night. We had an absolute blast and for years even after she moved and married her husband we’d still talk.
As a woman I think a much better approach is “if it’s an appropriate situation go ahead and flirt, but pay attention to if she flirts back. And most importantly trust her words over her behavior.”
I’m not attracted to men, but I don’t mind them hitting on me in appropriate situations. I hate that I get asked out at work (not even public facing). Hell, there’s one man who I knew socially who hit on me, noticed I wasn’t reciprocating, then stopped and became platonically friendly instead. That made me trust him quite a bit actually.
I think a LOT of men just dont see the flirting as flirting anyway. They miss the side-eye (or mistake the nervous social side-eye). I know I missed a LOT of “signals”. I was better when she just said “hey I have a crush on you, do you feel the same?”
You’re probably more in-tune with the signals people show. With B/G relationships I feel there’s a lot of separation society puts inbetween the two so they dont really grow up together understanding each other. So here in the UK that would be separate gendered schooling, separate clubs and activities that are historically accessible or presumed upon each other.
Some people are oblivious to signs. A guy may be on the spectrum too. This is why growing up socializing is so important but with the internet we are more isolated from social cues than ever before.
I’m more saying that this is how some men talk themselves into hitting on someone in inappropriate situations, or (in their heads) blur the line without realizing. Missing signals isn’t only realizing years later that she was into you (a cliché story), but also “they’re just being friendly, it’s not flirting” (doesn’t get said enough)
As a man, when I was still dating, I loved when women made it clear they weren’t interested or had a boyfriend. They were some of my best friends. We could go out and have a good time and there wouldn’t be any sexual tension. We could talk about other people they liked or I liked. I’d wingman for them and they’d do the same for me.
I had one date where we planned on hanging out at her apartment to watch a movie and pretty much as soon as she invited me in she told me that she wasn’t interested in dating or doing anything with me. We were laughing and joking the whole night. We had an absolute blast and for years even after she moved and married her husband we’d still talk.