What a horrible day to have genitals.
Why did I learn how to read?
Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.
I knew I was right to blame society for everything!
Because you had better parents than Jared, 19.
It’s a terrible day for rain.
You can un-learn easily enough: here’s a ball-peen hammer
Alcohol … Lots and lots of alcohol over many years does the same thing
Only two cures to a hangover: Don’t start, or don’t stop.
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Ok I guess we both have it bad
I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck
How?
Life’s wild, my friend
Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.
Sack fold
Sack Fold new bandname called it!
First album titled: Pinch & Roll
First single: Hanging around the corner
Someone’s never had their balls shaved as smooth as a Christmas ham. You can definitely get bubbles floating up past your balls, but it takes a decent amount of sweat and a complete lack of hair
A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅
I think I’d rather have my junk hanging outside my body than to have a fart do a 180 on me
As a pussy haver. What the fuck
Today we encounter the “pussy havers” and the “pussy have nots” learning side by side! Spectacular!
As a pussy haver. What the fuck
I think having a permanently moist cavity* is a tougher draw on average, but it really is truly horrifying when you self-adjust on a public toilet and Make Contact. “gklvjsdlfgjljgklwashrnblkiujsrthfkwhfernvjkshnjhkl” is the reaction, even in the hypothetical.
*except ben shapiro’s wife
I’m now equal parts envious, fearful, and in awe at women’s capability to weaponize much more destructive dutch ovens than men.
The dreaded double dutch
Don’t put fish in a dutch oven
Instructions unclear… just shit in Koi pond while attempting to Dutch oven a fish.
God: this is why I made everything a sin.
I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.
I’ll keep my ding dong, thanks.
W-what?
It’s true.
If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl
You don’t want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills
Only if there was some protective skin to protect the pp head.
Tell me about it. My short stack can only rest comfortably on my nuts perched on the seat - it’s that or having my head get shredded by the razor edge of the seat lol
Lil dick click rise-up! We need to fight for our RIGHTS. We can’t take this shit no more!
Is that when your dick is buried into your nut suck so when you pee, you piss all over your balls?
Hilarious, but Buried Penis is a real condition. Small dick + overweight can be a horrible combo. If you have huge balls it’s probably the ultimate triple threat. Best be carrying wet wipes to freshen up heh
Don’t use me to feel better about your shit, little dick.
Relax guys. We all know girls don’t fart.
I can tell you haven’t met my GF.
im with everyone here. what the fuck
At least we can all relate to water splashes.
Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.
I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.
Was it almost full or something? Usually the… stuff… is pretty far below the seat
That diahrea might have been extra energetic; falling at faster than terminal velocity
Yeah you know those slow motion videos of the water droplet that bounces up from the surface tension?
Well, that. At scale.
Oh yeah it was super energetic
Neptune’s Kiss…
Poseidon’s Kiss™️
Lol (not porn, but on redgifs because nsfw I guess?) https://www.redgifs.com/watch/unhealthylivelybarbet
A perfect example of something that should be tagged NSFW, but isn’t porn.
Cold water splashing on our buttholes is the great gender equalizer.
If you live in europe or asia (i think) then probably not
Continental Europe maybe. On the islands ye be gettin’ Poseidon’s kiss.
The old witches kiss
Its neptunes kiss when you let a turd go and water shoots back up your asshole from the splash.
illustration: https://youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc
I don’t know what I was expecting
In Portuguese Brazilian this has this exact name! Wow!
Same in French, le baiser de la sorcière.
What the fuck
I’m a guy and I’ve had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top
Is it ok to like those?
Whatever tickles your pickle.
Fuck you, well done.
I’m 39 and they make me giggle like an idiot
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Slouching at the PC gets me every time :(
The requeefining.
