- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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They have a very different view of what constitutes an unsafe space, for the last day or so every time I saw a username with pronouns my whole body would tighten up anticipating some randomly aggressive attack post. I hate that they made me feel that way about something that should be good. I will not miss them.
One of them made a post on Egg_irl with Astolfo which seems to be almost saying that they think Femboys and GNC are just trans girls in denial. Really didn’t sit well with me since I know that that kind of think is very hurtful to Femboys and has been very hurtful to me as well as an Agender.
That was me, I was referring to myself and how I personally came to realise I was trans through being a femboy, if it came off as offensive I’m sorry and I’ll remove the post
Edit: hexbear is currently down so I can’t, I’ll remove the post as soon as hexbear comes back online
Edit 2: hexbear is still not coming back up so I’ll report the post on this account and ask the mods to delete it, sorry for any discomfort I caused you
Removed at your request
Edit: hexbear is currently down so I can’t, I’ll remove the post as soon as hexbear comes back online
I just looked and Hexbear seems to be back up but they now have a blocked list and lemmy.blahaj.zone is on it. Seems they defederated from us.
Edit 2: hexbear is still not coming back up so I’ll report the post on this account and ask the mods to delete it, sorry for any discomfort I caused you
All is forgiven 😉
OH whew thank you, I thought it was just my VPN that had gotten blocked. I wasn’t able to see any of the hexbear links.
iirc, deleting the post from hexbear would not have done anything, defederation affects any interaction with blahaj
At the time it was still federated with our site, not anymore though, lemmy.blahaj.zone is now their first entry on the block list.
Uninvolved 3rd party, but I just wanna commend your thoughtfulness here
I had a blahaj person make a similar response to a message of mine a few weeks ago, before hexbear was even on the radar. I just rolled my eyes and may have sent some sort of “wow, what a dumb take” response or something.
I could not be more relieved.
On the one hand, it sucks that there is a rift between communities who seem to have genuine care for LGBTQ issues. However, through the past day, being exposed to Hexbear’s community and content has made me extremely concerned.
Hexbear’s server content is full of great big red flags. Even a brief skim through some top posts and comments showed a lot of content I found alarming. There are posts denying genocide, calls to violence, blatant Russian propaganda, apologists galore for authoritarianism, and the constant assurance that anyone not agreeing with these ideas was obviously a Fascist. And this was all wrapped in what I can only describe as a weird layer of smug superiority - that they are the only ones who “get it”. I don’t have a high opinion of any community that seems to think having the a word like “tankie” applied to them is problematic while accepting the previously mentioned content as okay. To make matters worse, a lot of Hexbear user’s I’ve seen in other communities posting, it is often antagonistic if not just straight-up trolling. I just don’t see the value in any of this.
I just wish we had become defederated sooner and not been exposed to a community that seems to be so rife with arrogant, extremist trolls that are hell-bent on stirring up drama.
Damn, I’m not one for drama but Holy shit their comments on that thread are fucked up, they seem like a really toxic and unhealthy bunch of people.
We’re generally better off without extremists who’s only defense to anything they don’t like is attacking others and badmouthing them.
It really shows their general character and maturity levels.
Also, it seems like there are a lot of other instances asking mods for defederation due to toxicity.
Yeah, the comments are bad, I clicked on the link out of curiosity. I think I got my weekly dose of online slurs for the week.
Also an interesting “safe space”. A “safe space” to be unhinged in which names you call others that don’t agree with you and been cheered on for doing so.
I think the fact that they’re fully defederating over accusations against a single community instead of just blocking that community is telling.
I’ll take blahaj over HB in a heartbeat, but Ada did the exact same thing to lemmynsfw.
Jesus can you stop whining about lemmynsfw
Nope. And especially in this instance as it is directly refutes the praise that the op was giving. Sorry, programming won’t let me keep quiet on hypocrisy.
I’m not sad about the outcome (it definitely helps me not getting too horny on main;) but the parallel is not completely unwarranted.
I hope we learned from the nsfw fiasco, as I hope they learned from the 196 fiasco.
You cannot leave me because I’m leaving you, well that situation solved itself. That said I am concerned about 196.
They exited on mutual agreement I guess
Well technically not mutual agreement until/unless we also defederate from them. Which I still am in support of.
Isn’t it funny how there were no complaints until there was a post here asking about defederation?
There weren’t any complaints until the mod of the second largest comm on this instance started throwing around slurs and leaking dms - also hexbear admins were unaware of previous chaser things the mod had publicly defended on 196 until a blahaj user brought it up in a thread about a blahaj user claiming enbys on hexbear were faking being non binary for clout (the enbyphobic comment was pretty swiftly deleted by the mods here after it was brought to their attention thankfully)
What chaser things have I defended?? I’m trans I don’t see how I could be a chaser and I don’t even know what I could do to earn the title. It seems like this post was never brought to our attention, because we check every report we receive and remove the ones that should be removed. What we don’t check, however, is every post as we do not have the mod numbers for that. We can only see what you guys bring to our attention through reports.
They’re referring to the screenshot of a post where you said a user’s comment about who they are attracted to was not transphobic and to stop reporting it.
IIRC, at the time it lead to the thread being removed due to other transphobic comments. When asked Ada clarified that the comment hexbear is complaining about as being a chaser was not the reason for this post:
Yeah neither of us viewed the comment as a problem. There was a bunch of stuff surrounding it, and the user did end up getting some stuff removed, and I did end up having to delete the thread, but none of that was due to the original comment
A blahaj user posted a link to this screenshot of you publicly defending a cishet man talking about how they would like to have sex with a trans man and explicitly saying their fetishisation would be exactly negating what the trans man wanted to do with his body
They provided additional context but since the comment was on a hexbear thread and hexbear is currently down I can’t link to it unfortunately
Oh yeah I remember this whole fiasco. The argument was literally just attraction to body types/features versus attraction to genders. This person was expressing that they’re only attracted to archetypaly “female” body features but are open to dating any one of any gender identity. The whole fight is basically just people thinking that they’re fetishizing trans men when they’re just expressing that well they’re fine with dating someone with a masculine identity, they don’t think it would work if the person wasn’t comfortable in a feminine body. I don’t really want to get into this again, but there’s nothing wrong with that in it of itself.
Some folks refuse to believe there are different levels of dysphoria. Like so many things, it’s a spectrum.
Seriously! I’m transfem, have been for years, 2 years on hormones, but I have no problem with my voice. Let it be masculine! Who the fuck cares. It doesn’t matter! Lot of trans people feel similar ways about different things
Hi, that was me (on my kbin account). That’s a quote pulled out of context. It was just a response to a direct question about whether I personally was attracted to trans men. It’s not a fetishization.
As politely as I can put it, as a trans woman I wouldn’t feel comfortable being in a relationship with anybody who I knew thought like that about other trans people - there’s a reason 8 separate people reported it
Removed by mod
That’s why I said it probably wouldn’t work. Most trans people would feel uncomfortable in that situation, so of course we wouldn’t pursue a relationship.
I did know someone (casually, did not date) who was a pre-transition trans man who wasn’t terribly bothered by letting cis men enjoy his boobs, which is why I brought up that specific scenario. I don’t know if he dated cis men, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I also assume that if he did, then the relationship would probably stay pretty casual with a planned end date of whenever he started physically transitioning.
There’s also a reason Moss - and most people, including Ada - were frustrated enough with the reports to publicly say “this is not transphobia”. Because it’s not, and some people are too quick to be triggered.
People are so caught up with hating hexbear users that the whole 196 mod drama is probably going to be overlooked. I’m waiting to see the statement from our instance mods before deciding if this place is really for me
What sort of statement? Except for the ableist comments that occurred last night when I was sleeping, everything else in that post had been actively addressed long before hexbear was on the scene.
The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.
Thank you for addressing that.
I was expecting a statement about mod integrity on 196 and Moss leaking DMs to start drama, but after sleeping on it I think that some of the issues raised by HB are somewhat disingenuous (e.g. the transphobia cited). I still have concerns about the maturity of the 196 mod team though.
For what it’s worth, this whole situation just shows how good of an admin you are. For that I don’t think I’m leaving
The issues around ableism occurred when I was in bed, and I addressed them first thing this morning, removing the content in question and sending comms to the person in question making our standards clear.
Thank you :)
if that screenshot of the mod log isn’t leaving out important context then this looks pretty bad, hexbear users aren’t alone in seeing a decent amount of reactionary language and talking points here in the past few weeks. in all fairness tho most of it probably isn’t intentional
I’m out of the loop. Whats going on with the mods on 196?
This contains the most recent issue: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1989401
There was also leaking DMs, subtle transphobia / chaser issues (a bit like the reddit 196). If you read the hexbear post they have screenshots
I’m not a chaser, please stop with that. It’s one quote that was taken totally out of context.
Thanks 😊
Read the hexbear post in the OP, they explain it pretty well.
Yeah I’m all out. I’ll keep modding my art and nsfw comms (though they’re somewhat inactive) but that’s as far as I’ll go.
real you can’t fire me i quit vibes from them
Perfect outcome, they get to feel superior despite doing nothing - which is their only goal - and we get to clean their mess.
Is there really any mess? A 1x1 foot rug could cover any of it up.
It could really tie a room together.
Honestly, thank God.
Thank fucking God
Thank fuck. I was getting really tired of people picking fights everywhere over dumb shit.
This explains why my feed has been less hectic since I got on a few minutes ago.
Issues with 196 aside, those Hexbear folks sure are a contentious people.
What’s up with 196? I blocked their community weeks ago
Bye, have a beautiful time!
Lol. For a group of people regularly defending genocide and calling for people to get the wall, they sure are easily offended. I wonder if this distortion of facts, and trying to gaslight us is due to some sort of mass psychosis or plain narcissism.
Good. Trust me, you want nothing to do with that cesspool of absolute morons.
Note that the removed comments that triggered this have since been restored: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2097409 Looking at the comment history of the involved users the second comment from Nakoichi is referencing a different comment thread (https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2097384). While I don’t agree with the initial take, it didn’t need to be removed at all, much less with that reason.
Moderation decisions are often contentious, especially when communities are as idiosyncratic as 196. The thing to do is first to cool off a bit, then to have a dialogue, first with the other users involved in the thread and then possibly with the mods.
That’s not the path this gentleman took. No, he charged into the meta community calling the mod ableist, racist and a chaser enabler and demanding his removal. That’s just not how we do things here. That path only leads to more acrimony.
This is bad, but then it got a lot worse. He whipped his entire instance into a huge frenzy, leading to dogpiling and defederation.
These guys are simply not able to work through disagreements in a productive manner. And they create disagreements for sport.
So yes, moderation on 196 could be better. I’m sure they learned a lesson from this. But everything that happened after the initial mod decision rested squarely on the shoulders of Nakoichi and the admins of hexbear.
