• Wanderer@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    How do people deal with getting older when the hottest girls are out of your age range.

    I was hoping as I get older women I’m most attracted to would get older. Seems my standards are just lowering but a 20 year is still banging.

    • bluewing@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Disclaimer: I’m old and retired. My wife is 7 years younger than me and we’ve been married 37 years.

      You will always stop and look at and admire a pretty young lady. You might even think to yourself, “If I was 40 years younger!” And then immediately think to yourself “But any way”.

      As you get older you will become more attracted to older women. Not because you think they are prettier than younger women, that’s biology for you. But, you will find the personality and cultural reference points of age far more compelling than plain beauty in your relationships. Turns out, shared life experiences and culture means more in the long run than the smell of bubble gum and all the drama of youth.

    • StorminNorman@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You’re still gonna be attracted to 20yos physically. There’s over 100k years of evolution that wants you to mate with the fittest, most attractive mate that you can. But is that a person you actually want to spend time with outside of the bedroom? So, yeah, your standards in regards to physical attractiveness are gonna drop as you age, but your other standards will likely change too.

        • StorminNorman@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          They don’t. Go and reread what I wrote, then come back here and quote the part of my comment where I said that.

          And I again refer you back to what I previously wrote, your priorities change as you age. Mine did. I’m far more likely to have sex with a partner who’s company I enjoy than someone who’s company I don’t enjoy. That aside, I didn’t say you’re gonna just start solely having sex with only people you have good company with. I didn’t even say that you’d stop trying to have sex with people you were physically attracted to. I said your standards will change. Which insinuated that maybe you might not have slept with someone when you were 18yo cos they didn’t meet your criteria of being attractive back then, but you might now cos your standards have changed.

    • TeenieBopper@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Eh. I want to fuck a 20 year old. I want to have a relationship with a 40 year old. I’ve been in two different casual relationships with women younger than me (33/23, and 35/26) and they were exhausting. Not having any common cultural touchstones was a much bigger bummer than I thought it would be. So I wanted to spend an hour or two with them, but I find myself perfectly content spending an entire day with my current (39/35) fiance.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      when the hottest girls are out of your age range.

      I’m 46. I’m married, but if I was single, I find women near my age more attractive than much younger women. The sophistication and poise that can come with age is more attractive to me. I’m not saying I would kick either of the above women out of my bed, but I’d much rather be with someone in their 40s.

      • Vespair@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        The sophistication and poise that can come with age is more attractive to me

        There are sophisticated 20 year olds and there boorish 60 year olds.

        The dichotomy you describe isn’t real, it’s projected onto these women.

    • Ook the Librarian@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      How do people deal with getting older when the hottest girls are out of your age range.

      There are certain qualities a man needs to consistently attract hot women. Age does not matter as much as one would think. It certainly doesn’t matter in a way that is fair to women.

      So as the hottest girls leave my age range, I don’t much think about it. I’m turning 40 this year, and I’m worrying about how old I’ll be at my kids’ graduations not what any 20-somethings think about old man me.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You pivot from being attracted to physical attributes towards being attracted to personality.

    • Eximius@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      One aspect: I feel once you start thinking about having a family (and not being a farting old decrepid mess by the time your children are 20yo) you really start looking for someone who can be committed and would be interested in starting one, and that really doesn’t include hot 20yo girls.

      Another: People who age gracefully show they can take care of themselves and look amazing any age. That is powerful. Combined with the fact 25+ have a much better sense of style and manners, and understand the world so much more in a nuanced way.

    • arin@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      IDK hot women are hot not based on age, if the have good common sense and intelligence, already above 7. I’d rather date an 18 year old who can think critically and not believe dumb nonsense on Facebook than a 40 year old who talks like a spoiled elementary schooler believing in essential oils and qanon shit. Plus no random kids from Father’s they don’t know💀