She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!

  • papalonian@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    It doesn’t matter if your intention was the opposite of doing harm. Your advice was not good advice. Your experience with someone who had an eating disorder doesn’t give you the ability to intuitively diagnose everyone that reminds you of their situation as having the same disorder.

    You’re making huge assumptions based on little information. Saying people are underweight or hardly eat anything doesn’t even come close to automatically meaning “eating disorder”. I’m underweight myself and eat very little, I’m not anorexic. If I feel chubby after a few days of binge eating, someone trying to make me stop thinking about it by distracting me like a dog isn’t going to help.

    Again, I’m assuming your goal is to help so I’m not trying to be rude, but your advice is both making the issue out to be much larger than it probably is (saying she is anorexic/ bulimic while OP never used these words) while simultaneously suggesting he ignore the problem by distracting her. Even if she does have an eating disorder, as others have pointed out, saying things are “a trap” is not a healthy way to look at it, as someone reaching out for help is not doing so to put you in a bad position.

    • Nakedmole@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I’m underweight myself and eat very little (…) I feel chubby after a few days of binge eating

      I see, so you are probably affected by an eating disorder yourself and therefore biased. That explains your stance on the topic.

      your advice is (…) making the issue out to be much larger than it probably is. (…) OP never used these words

      OP sounds inexperienced and probably is confronted with this kind of disorder for the first time. So naturally OP describes it without using certain vocabulary and therefore wrote: “She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!” and “She was underweight before, because she hardly ate anything”.

      simultaneously suggesting he ignore the problem

      So you agree there is a problem? I never suggested to ignore the problem. I only suggested to not join in on the topic of “I am fat”, brought up by someone with a possible eating disorder. See next point for reason.

      as someone reaching out for help is not doing so to put you in a bad position

      Saying “I am fat” when being just above underweight, does not equal asking for help. It equals asking for confirmation of a distorted body awareness and self image.

      Blocked to prevent further animosities.

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I see, so you are probably affected by an eating disorder yourself and therefore biased. That explains your stance on the topic.

        You either have no idea what you’re talking about, or you’re a troll. Most people stop diagnosing strangers over the Internet when they leave high school. I really hope nobody follows your bad, harmful advice.

        Do you find it strange that your professional, sound advice is getting down voted em masse? You really think you’ve got the right take?