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The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Comic Strips@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

Christmas in Gotham [Safely Endangered]

startrek.website

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Christmas in Gotham [Safely Endangered]

startrek.website

The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website to Comic Strips@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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Website https://safelyendangered.com/

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  • Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 years ago

    Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can’t feel the next- [CRACK]

    • MoonMoon@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      See?

  • SokathHisEyesOpen@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    Isn’t Santa omniscient? He should already know where the presents are, so he must be a sadist.

    • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      Santa isn’t omniscient. He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. We can infer from this phrasing that he can’t see you when you’re awake. He also knows if you’ve been bad or good but that information isn’t as specific.

      • swab148@startrek.website
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        2 years ago

        What if I upload my consciousness to the internet, then ran that through a VPN and Tor and iP2P and all that, think I could shake him?

        • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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          2 years ago

          You need to be behind 7 proxies to evade him

          • swab148@startrek.website
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            2 years ago

            Fake: basically VPNs with more steps

            Gay: behind

            • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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              2 years ago

              Oh shit, you figured me out

              • swab148@startrek.website
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                2 years ago

                I’m good with secrets.

          • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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            2 years ago

            TIL ED is back

        • SokathHisEyesOpen@lemmy.ml
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          2 years ago

          You can’t even shake Facebook or Google that way. How do you expect it to work against a demi-god?

          • swab148@startrek.website
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            2 years ago

            I think we’re discussing the limitations of a fictional being. In the context of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, I’m not sure his powers apply to the internet, being that “He sees you when you’re sleeping…”, but he only “… knows when you’re awake.” So if my incorporeal consciousness was uploaded to the internet, do you think I could spoof my online status to green, so that I’d be untraceable to Santa?

            • SokathHisEyesOpen@lemmy.ml
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              2 years ago

              Possibly. I have seen many drawings depicting Santa being threatened by technology.

              • swab148@startrek.website
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                2 years ago

                If we’re building a thing, I don’t think Krampus would be as limited, but his punishment wouldn’t be as dire.

        • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Idk I bet he’s got contacts all throughout the NSA. He’s got a hell of a blackmailing racket going.

          • swab148@startrek.website
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            2 years ago

            Or maybe part of his elf crew includes an elite hacking division, and he’s essentially in every government network.

        • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          deleted by creator

          • swab148@startrek.website
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            2 years ago

            My online consciousness will 100% be wearing 1337 h4x0r sunglasses

      • psud@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I reckon he knows if you’ve been bad or good because of the parents’ assessment of their children’s goodness. That is not a specific Santa power, except in as much as the power of Santa to get that parental assessment is a power

        I think it has to be based on the parents, as clearly bad kids still get presents, and only their mother thinks they’re good.

      • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Our subconsciousness dreams Santa into existence.

    • c24w@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      He lacks omnipresents!

    • Skull giver@popplesburger.hilciferous.nl
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      deleted by creator

    • The Menemen!@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Santa only watches children though I think.

  • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Be the Grinch. Get ostracized by looking different. Slowly get shunned from your community and froze out. Be ignored. Everyone hates you for no reason.

    They rub it in your face by being as loud and noisy as possible. You tried to get away but they still flaunt it in your face. Only your best doggo understands and loves you still.

    You go down and try to stop it and take their shit. Next day, they’re still singing their fucking songs. You give them their shit back and NOW they like you.

    Lesson: Nobody will like you until it looks like you did something good. Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

    • Electromechanical_Supergiant@lemmynsfw.com
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      2 years ago

      Just another Christmas story with terrible morals. They’re surprisingly common.

      • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Rudolph: It’s not okay to be weird unless you’re useful lol.

    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

      Isn’t this half of what some IT people do?

    • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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      2 years ago

      The True Meaning of Christmas™️

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    2 years ago

    Blocks the door with a chair

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Gordon: “Which one are you going after?”

    Santa: “MRS. CLAUS!”

    Gordon, to his officers: “We’re going after Rudolph!”

  • BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Coco

    • tuck182@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Maybe that’s one of the elves?

  • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Driving around this year looking at lights, the grinch is way over represented.

  • Dr. Coomer@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “You’ll never get it out of me, you jolly basterd.”

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