Most of my friends killed themselves. I also thought that I was a waste of space. I went into debt to move across the country and figured if i couldn’t put anything together, I’d off myself more quietly away from family.

Then I got a boss that actually valued my outside opinion. I got internal promotion and leveraged that job into a couple of strategic lateral movements. Now people lookup to me. It’s weird. Recently I got a public honorable mention from Google. All this is cause I’m an asshole who refused to let the world near where I grew up, dictate what I should and shouldn’t do.

Did I solve the fact that I tied my value to my contributions to society? No. But it turns out society is much bigger than the place I started and other cultures and societies think im useful. I still don’t fit in and it’s still lonely af. (I wish my friends were here so bad).

All that to say，they may not value you today but that reflects more about them than you. Today, I find great solace in reading books and learning ideas from people born hundreds or even thousands of years before I was born.

Don’t give up. You may be helping a future version of someone like me or like yourself.