(Copenhagen) A war of words is brewing online, between the US president and Bjork - the famed Icelandic musician and activist. Between golf games Saturday, donald trump announced that US maps would now show the country of Greenland as “Goldland,” given the immense value of the mostly unpopulated country. “We are moving in and it’s all gold… gold on the ground, gold in the sky… it’s beautiful how golden it is.” The US has gained attention for trying to rename The Gulf of Mexico last year.

This prompted Bjork to post on social media: “I am a dream that cries, from the highest ice that is gold but melts in a mama’s arms,” which appeared to incense the president. He quickly responded to her post: “low energy, low talent, and low octane from Venezuela. Win win win. Thank you for your attention on this matter.” The two have been engaged in a back and forth argument for several hours, as media outlets wonder why the president’s aides and staff don’t cut him off, as statements such as “NAVY SEALS ON THE WAY YOU DIE” are met with “Pork chop pork chop pork chop Coca-cola green beat dip fairy party, as the world watches in fascination.

“We assume the president has locked himself in a room with a great deal of ketamine,” said a White House journalist close to the matter. None of the staff are allowed in the building, not that they are allowed this close to [Vice President] JD Vance’s pillow fort normally.” A spokesperson for the Secret Service says that the president is not physically in danger, although crying. Bjork’s press agent said she could not comment on the artist’s side of the conversation.

Most alarming to Republican legislators is the outcry of support from their base, supporting Bjork’s arguments in the incomprehensible rambling from both sides. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow detangler in Missouri, said “yeah I’ve had a three porkchop and coca-cola day, maybe he should lay off the girl and attack the Democrats some more. That girl danced with a giant cat once. Leave her alone.”