About last month I venting to my friends just about life and things and I made the mistake of admitting that I needed money for a good therapist and they were like “do you really need one though?” and I had to explain that I’m am a person who deals with schizophrenia and I need help with dealing with seeing/hearing things and coping with my condition.
I remember how they all when silent. I don’t usually talk about my mental health problems as it’s personal but as it came up and they asked me so I just told them straight. They just asked some questions at first like “how long have you had it” and “if I’m hearing things rn” etc etc before I changed the subject to something else. Looking back I really regret doing so because in the following weeks they would text me less, ignore me on the ground chat, invite me to less gatherings and not respond to me when I message them. Don’t get me wrong they don’t completely ghost me but they don’t talk/hang out with me as much as they used to. In past month I’ve met them like three times even though I used to meet them weekly.
Honestly, I’m more disappointed then anything else. Not just with them but with society as a whole. I hate how we all pride ourselves with being mental health positive but when it comes to the non wholesome mental health issues like schizophrenia, NPD, compulsive lying, ASPD then it’s a completely different story. I love my friend group but I hate how they all dumped me especially when it’s the number one thing I’m most self conscious about. We were supposed to be open with each other but now they’ve all left me just because I told them about one of my personal problems.
Don’t get me wrong I still love my friends but I just need them to understand that none of us are perfect and I’m just a normal person who has some problems like everyone else. It doesn’t make me a dangerous person. Schizophrenia isn’t something that can be cured it’s just a part of me I have to live with. I just need some help with dealing with the voices and seeing faces on things. That’s all. I’m not a danger to no one in any way. I’m planning on confronting them about this soon and just telling them all this. I don’t know know how I’ll go about it but I just need to make them understand because I really like what we have.
Thanks so much for your reply. This is what I’m trying to get across to people. We can’t be perfect all the time. I’m happy with how they’ve reacted but it’s not like they know any better. As protist said; “Have you tried telling them that you’re still the same person you were before and how them distancing from you makes you feel?”
Your absolutely right. I just need them to understand that I’m just the same old Jane I’ve always been and them distancing themselves from me really hurts as we’ve supposed to have each others back. I just need to them understand that schizophrenia isn’t something that makes you a dangerous or bad person.