About last month I venting to my friends just about life and things and I made the mistake of admitting that I needed money for a good therapist and they were like “do you really need one though?” and I had to explain that I’m am a person who deals with schizophrenia and I need help with dealing with seeing/hearing things and coping with my condition.
I remember how they all when silent. I don’t usually talk about my mental health problems as it’s personal but as it came up and they asked me so I just told them straight. They just asked some questions at first like “how long have you had it” and “if I’m hearing things rn” etc etc before I changed the subject to something else. Looking back I really regret doing so because in the following weeks they would text me less, ignore me on the ground chat, invite me to less gatherings and not respond to me when I message them. Don’t get me wrong they don’t completely ghost me but they don’t talk/hang out with me as much as they used to. In past month I’ve met them like three times even though I used to meet them weekly.
Honestly, I’m more disappointed then anything else. Not just with them but with society as a whole. I hate how we all pride ourselves with being mental health positive but when it comes to the non wholesome mental health issues like schizophrenia, NPD, compulsive lying, ASPD then it’s a completely different story. I love my friend group but I hate how they all dumped me especially when it’s the number one thing I’m most self conscious about. We were supposed to be open with each other but now they’ve all left me just because I told them about one of my personal problems.
Don’t get me wrong I still love my friends but I just need them to understand that none of us are perfect and I’m just a normal person who has some problems like everyone else. It doesn’t make me a dangerous person. Schizophrenia isn’t something that can be cured it’s just a part of me I have to live with. I just need some help with dealing with the voices and seeing faces on things. That’s all. I’m not a danger to no one in any way. I’m planning on confronting them about this soon and just telling them all this. I don’t know know how I’ll go about it but I just need to make them understand because I really like what we have.
Other people here are saying your friends are shitty, but I don’t think you should jump to that conclusion. People are naturally a little put off by things they don’t understand, and the general public absolutely does not understand schizophrenia. Have you tried telling them that you’re still the same person you were before and how them distancing from you makes you feel? To them, it feels like something has changed, but in reality nothing has changed. You can help them realize that. You communicating with them about this is probably the only way to make things better
Thanks so much for your reply. This is what I’m trying to get across to people. We can’t be perfect all the time. I’m happy with how they’ve reacted but it’s not like they know any better. As protist said; “Have you tried telling them that you’re still the same person you were before and how them distancing from you makes you feel?”
Your absolutely right. I just need them to understand that I’m just the same old Jane I’ve always been and them distancing themselves from me really hurts as we’ve supposed to have each others back. I just need to them understand that schizophrenia isn’t something that makes you a dangerous or bad person.
Ding ding! Express your feelings at the right time and place.
This is the right time and place.
Indeed. You are seen here, we empathize. Best wishes!
Thanks 👍
It’s a very misunderstood diagnosis. I have found the same with BPD. People have this Hollywood idea of it, and become fearful, irrational, and avoidant. I even noticed this to be true among the medical and human services community. Some dialog may help…if you think these people are worth it. Just know this. You haven’t done anything wrong. At all. Big hugs.
It’s nice to hear from a professional. This is the type of thing people need to understand. I’m sure you are a fantastic behavioral therapist 👍btw I’ve looked through your other posts. You seem like an interesting person.
That’s really shitty of them and I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t personally deal with schizophrenia, but I have family members that do and one of my dad’s best friends when he was young dealt with it. Untreated, I understand it can get pretty overwhelming in certain cases, but doesn’t make anyone a bad person or not worth hanging out with.
Hopefully they’ll figure that out or you’ll find some better friends soon.
Thanks so much for your understanding.❤️ I don’t want to replace my friends or anything I just want them to understand I’m still the same old person and having schizophrenia doesn’t make me a bad person by default. Honestly, considering how stigmatized it is I’m not surprised with how they responded. I’m not sure anyone else in my life would have responded differently so I can’t just replace everyone who would have responded in the same way.
I’m not sure anyone else in my life would have responded differently so I can’t just replace everyone who would have responded in the same way.
This makes sense and I would still give them a chance myself. Just understand that if they’re not willing to accept you that there are people out there who will.
Also I don’t know if this will help or not, but I feel like you have a sort of reverse situation to an experience of mine:
I found out in my late 20’s that I had ADHD which had a profound impact on the way that I saw myself and how I thought about my own actions and life leading up to that point. It was a huge paradigm shift to see myself from this new angle and I told family and friends and they had the opposite reaction to your friends in that they shrugged it off like it was no big deal, though to me, it was a huge deal. Then, a lifelong friend told me something that made me understand where they were coming from. He said (and I’m paraphrasing), “you had ADHD when we were 12, and when we were 18, and now you still have it in our late 20s. You haven’t changed at all. Nothing is new, you’re just aware of it now. I knew you then for who you were and I know you now for who you still are. I get that it’s big news to you, but to me, it’s just another day of the same guy, except today he has a new word to describe himself.”
Maybe your friends need to realize that you didn’t just get schizophrenia and that you’ve had for however long you’ve had it / known them (if that’s the case, of course). That you were the same guy the years and weeks and days before you told them as you were the day after you told them, and the only thing that has changed is their awareness of a label that you had the whole time.
I’m so sorry this is an experience you are having. I don’t have much to offer - but am sending good thoughts your way.
Your such a sweetheart☺️ thanks for your understanding.
That’s not ideal. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
If they’re freinds worth having, after some processing (maybe some reading), they’ll come around.
I hope they’re just processing, maybe doing some reading. If not, it was an era of your life, one you can keep the good memories from and go out and find some new friends.
Wow, that seems to be a shitty friend-group. I’m sorry mate. :(
They’re not. We’ve had a lot of good times together and they’re just joys to be around. I don’t want to just throw them away like that.
