As my two week Christmas holiday comes to - a close I find myself thinking (as I always do after a longer break) back to the real world. Back to wage slavery and a chronic lack of time, not only for leisure but simple labour reproduction and household labour. A part of me is still so conditoned that I can’t help but think of breaks from work as fantastical and dream like; a cruel taste of how wonderful life can be when one isn’t beholden to a capitalist master. When one has time and space to breathe and be and enjoy the cosmic miracle that life even exists.
Thank fuck I’m not the only one feeling this way. I spent the holidays with my family and even though we don’t see eye to eye on many things, there’s something so meaningful and profound in human connection that doesn’t involve a transactional element.
I got back to work and my manager is already giving us unrealistic work targets that make absolutely no sense, but hey, he’s an MBA.
I don’t even make enough to have any substantial savings, but I live like a hermit, so I suppose I won’t need too much to survive. I just want time. I want enough time to get up in the morning, make myself a cup of tea, and watch the sunrise without feeling the imminent dread.
At this point, I daily find myself hoping for a complete economic collapse just so my job ends.
If our society hadn’t trained the ability to cry out of me, I would cry due to the lack of time I feel I have.
I’ve also found myself looking forward to a complete economic collapse. Even though it’ll end up being more work, in my fantasy it at least seems more fulfilling and less alienating.
I can relate.
It’ll be more work, but istg anything is better than writing dumbfucks emails that make absolutely no difference to anyone and serve Nothing meaningful