As my two week Christmas holiday comes to - a close I find myself thinking (as I always do after a longer break) back to the real world. Back to wage slavery and a chronic lack of time, not only for leisure but simple labour reproduction and household labour. A part of me is still so conditoned that I can’t help but think of breaks from work as fantastical and dream like; a cruel taste of how wonderful life can be when one isn’t beholden to a capitalist master. When one has time and space to breathe and be and enjoy the cosmic miracle that life even exists.

  • Lenin's Dumbbell @lemmygrad.ml
    2·
    5 days ago

    Thank fuck I’m not the only one feeling this way. I spent the holidays with my family and even though we don’t see eye to eye on many things, there’s something so meaningful and profound in human connection that doesn’t involve a transactional element.

    I got back to work and my manager is already giving us unrealistic work targets that make absolutely no sense, but hey, he’s an MBA.

    I don’t even make enough to have any substantial savings, but I live like a hermit, so I suppose I won’t need too much to survive. I just want time. I want enough time to get up in the morning, make myself a cup of tea, and watch the sunrise without feeling the imminent dread.

    At this point, I daily find myself hoping for a complete economic collapse just so my job ends.

    • knfrmity@lemmygrad.mlOPEnglish
      1·
      4 days ago

      If our society hadn’t trained the ability to cry out of me, I would cry due to the lack of time I feel I have.

      I’ve also found myself looking forward to a complete economic collapse. Even though it’ll end up being more work, in my fantasy it at least seems more fulfilling and less alienating.

      • Lenin's Dumbbell @lemmygrad.ml
        2·
        3 days ago

        I can relate.

        It’ll be more work, but istg anything is better than writing dumbfucks emails that make absolutely no difference to anyone and serve Nothing meaningful

  • Dialectical Idealist@lemmygrad.ml
    17·
    10 days ago

    A prolonged escape produces a similar feeling. I once had the privilege of a research sabbatical in Europe. I got a taste of the freedom to do my own work without care for my basic needs. At the end, the bitter feeling of returning to my own exploitation washed over me. And now the awareness of being a wage-slave follows me every day.

    • 201dberg@lemmygrad.ml
      6·
      10 days ago

      I really like that you used the term escape. Because that’s what Vacations are under capitalism. A vacation feels like “I am taking this solely for my own enjoyment.”

      Vacations under capitalism, especially in the US, feel more like “I am running from my job for a bit so I do not end up killing myself.”

  • Che's Motorcycle@lemmygrad.ml
    16·
    10 days ago

    I feel this in my bones. I’m winding up a long (overdue) vacation in Indonesia. I have ate so well, rested so well, and generally felt better than I have for the past year. I am not looking forward to going back to work one bit.

  • 201dberg@lemmygrad.ml
    15·
    10 days ago

    I had my name on a really stupid, yet also super important project at work. It was like a foot ote of some response to a regulator agency. Completely unimportant but because it was part of this response, it was.

    So I did EVERYTHING I could to get it closed but this client he have was holding it all up. It was due New Years eve. I was off that week. My only major vacation for the season. I gave my manager all my work and had it to where all the client had to do was sign. Well, Monday, clients thought up some new BS to complain about and short answer is, we didn’t get this thing closed till Wednesday at noon. And I had to work on it for a couple hours every day till then.

    So my one bit of vacation, I spent helping work for half of it. I was more stressed because of that then if I had JUST worked.

    Fuck this fucking shit hole.

  • La Dame d'Azur@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    14·
    10 days ago

    Under capitalism rest is only an illusion; a temporary reprieve. It takes forever to arrive and vanishes in the blink of an eye. It only teases you long enough to get invested but never enough to satisfy you.

    • 201dberg@lemmygrad.ml
      8·
      10 days ago

      The vast majority of “vacations” under capitalism is just running from work for a bit. It’s not a true vacation, because you really aren’t taking it solely for enjoyment. You are taking it to escape, even if temporarily.

  • ghost_of_faso3@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    11·
    10 days ago

    The rest is real in the sense that it allows you to pull your head above the water for a moment to see, you are in fact drowning.

    The clarity on return is someone dunking your head back under water and saying ‘well, back to work!’

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
    9·
    10 days ago

    It’s easy to get caught up in the work life. I had a week and a half of holiday with Christmas and New Year and just hanging around and doing my own stuff and seeing friends and family makes me realise how much of a different person I am when working. I try to live my life a bit more when working. Read more, watch less tv and social media. That kind of stuff. It helps a bit.

  • pcalau12i@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    7·
    10 days ago

    Every break I have from work feels like it goes by in a flash. If life was not suffering then it would just be a twinkle of a euphoric reverie that would be over the moment it started. The suffering at least helps to pace it out a bit.