Ah, you see, all those authors, translators, editors, and indeed committee members were influenced and guided by god to ensure the true word of god was passed down. The fact that different versions don’t agree with each other is neither here nor there.

In the end we ended up with a weirdly written, contradictory work open to interpretation that is supposed to be treated as fact.

Ah, um, it’s… yes, it’s all part of god’s plan. God works in mysterious ways, you know. Yes, that’s bound to be it…part of the plan, mysterious ways, etc.