I’ve finally run into a new, third problem: managers who get angry as soon as they’re confused, but refuse to learn basics. My project manager is a fucking nightmare to deal with. The moment, and I mean the first sign that she’s not 100% totally understanding what’s being discussed, she shuts down, gets dismissive and short, and refuses to hear anything further.
I don’t work in IT and the rest of the story doesn’t carry over, but I just left a boss behind who behaved exactly like that. Some sort of insecurity, probably about being in a leadership position in the first place.
I think it’s dumb; if you’ve been thrown into the hierarchy sideways and want to become a good leader you need to listen to people even if it means eating some humble pie.
I’m not skilled socially. I’m annoying, I get that. But this is mad.
Sometimes you have to give people some room to grow. This might be a way to get her to confront it, but you will forever be the bad guy even after she has learned the lesson.
I have learned this the hard way many times. My sense of justice and being ‘right’ are pretty high.
I don’t work in IT and the rest of the story doesn’t carry over, but I just left a boss behind who behaved exactly like that. Some sort of insecurity, probably about being in a leadership position in the first place.
I think it’s dumb; if you’ve been thrown into the hierarchy sideways and want to become a good leader you need to listen to people even if it means eating some humble pie.
Yep, that’s me, too.
I think this is correct answer. Maybe afraid of losing her job, definitely insecure.
Also I think the answer is to push back. Call out the anger and refuse to deal with it until she calms down.
Sometimes you have to give people some room to grow. This might be a way to get her to confront it, but you will forever be the bad guy even after she has learned the lesson.
I have learned this the hard way many times. My sense of justice and being ‘right’ are pretty high.