Relationship maintenance not being exclusive to marriage does not make it suddenly fun.
First do note I distinguish between loving someone and falling in love. My native language have two different words. One for the deep connection (being in love) and one for temporary feeling (deeply loving).
Married people falling in love (temporary feeling) is common. Not saying it happens to everyone every day. But you do not imagine people around you would often tell you about this really sensitive private topic?
Imagine you suddenly get a hot and a really friendly coworker that you have to spend time with them every day working on a project. It is in nature of falling in love to fall in love with a person you spend this much time with.
How on earth do you imagine there is so much cheating and divorce (especially with coworkers) in the world? People misinterpret a temporary feeling for a deep connection. And some even for destiny… This of course often leads to cheating.
I think we are again just differently interpreting a subjective word “often”.
In my opinion people saying marriage is happy but it is a lot of work just mean, you should not forget about relationship maintenance.
There are reasons 40% of people in relationships end up cheating. And I do not believe it is because couples are just incompatible. In my opinion this is a natural outcome of letting yourself grow apart from your spouse. And not being careful about getting attached to new people. And both are just symptoms of leaving out the “hard work” of the relationship maintenance.
You can feel how you feel and have wants. It’s up to you to respect the other person enough to let them know they need to move on.
People don’t cheat because of a lack of relationship maintenance. It’s a lack of respect.
Cheating indicates a lack of respect for the significant other to break things off. If there is a situation where you can’t leave the relationship then you’re not in a position to cheat, because you can’t be good partner for the other person.
It’s the same as finding a wallet and taking all of the cash. You should try and return the wallet, not take the cash.
This is the same thing. Maintaining trust, maintaining respect, maintaining spark, maintaining romance etc… All this falls into a category of maintaining relationship. And failure of maintaining each category can lead to disintegration of marriage…
Relationship maintenance not being exclusive to marriage does not make it suddenly fun.
First do note I distinguish between loving someone and falling in love. My native language have two different words. One for the deep connection (being in love) and one for temporary feeling (deeply loving).
Married people falling in love (temporary feeling) is common. Not saying it happens to everyone every day. But you do not imagine people around you would often tell you about this really sensitive private topic?
Imagine you suddenly get a hot and a really friendly coworker that you have to spend time with them every day working on a project. It is in nature of falling in love to fall in love with a person you spend this much time with.
How on earth do you imagine there is so much cheating and divorce (especially with coworkers) in the world? People misinterpret a temporary feeling for a deep connection. And some even for destiny… This of course often leads to cheating.
I think we are again just differently interpreting a subjective word “often”.
In my opinion people saying marriage is happy but it is a lot of work just mean, you should not forget about relationship maintenance. There are reasons 40% of people in relationships end up cheating. And I do not believe it is because couples are just incompatible. In my opinion this is a natural outcome of letting yourself grow apart from your spouse. And not being careful about getting attached to new people. And both are just symptoms of leaving out the “hard work” of the relationship maintenance.
You can feel how you feel and have wants. It’s up to you to respect the other person enough to let them know they need to move on.
People don’t cheat because of a lack of relationship maintenance. It’s a lack of respect.
Cheating indicates a lack of respect for the significant other to break things off. If there is a situation where you can’t leave the relationship then you’re not in a position to cheat, because you can’t be good partner for the other person.
It’s the same as finding a wallet and taking all of the cash. You should try and return the wallet, not take the cash.
This is the same thing. Maintaining trust, maintaining respect, maintaining spark, maintaining romance etc… All this falls into a category of maintaining relationship. And failure of maintaining each category can lead to disintegration of marriage…