Because we are lacking actualization. I will use I statements but there is LOTS of consulting with other men and reflection in this.
I enjoy making my wife and kids happy. I get some satisfaction from compersion. A lot in fact. But that is not primarily for me. I am not filling my own cup as it we’re.
But what I really want is to win women. I want the admiration and loyalty of women. I essentially want a harem. That is a huge ask and not realistic but deep down inside that is what I repress all day every day. I am hardwired to pursue women. I have found this to be true of basically all men in private conversation, whether they verbalize it in those terms or not. It is not politically correct and so crazy to say out loud that the very idea of my true sexuality is essentially a thought crime.
I don’t want monogamy.
I will never be really satisfied by sports or fishing or whittling wood or any of the things that we take on when we retire from life by participating in monogamy.
The grass is always greener it’s true and I think a lot of men have experienced loneliness and are happy to have someone. I have always had an SO and a waiting list. My wife is so incredibly good to me that I just can’t leave to fulfill myself. It’s fucked up honestly and I carry a lot of resentment.
This is just the part you asked about and there are complexities throughout but that’s the gist.
You are expressing something that is a problem for you. You feel resentment towards your wife because you can’t hook up with your waiting list? You need therapy, that is a very unhealthy way to live. That ain’t normal.
Because we are lacking actualization. I will use I statements but there is LOTS of consulting with other men and reflection in this.
I enjoy making my wife and kids happy. I get some satisfaction from compersion. A lot in fact. But that is not primarily for me. I am not filling my own cup as it we’re.
But what I really want is to win women. I want the admiration and loyalty of women. I essentially want a harem. That is a huge ask and not realistic but deep down inside that is what I repress all day every day. I am hardwired to pursue women. I have found this to be true of basically all men in private conversation, whether they verbalize it in those terms or not. It is not politically correct and so crazy to say out loud that the very idea of my true sexuality is essentially a thought crime.
I don’t want monogamy.
I will never be really satisfied by sports or fishing or whittling wood or any of the things that we take on when we retire from life by participating in monogamy.
The grass is always greener it’s true and I think a lot of men have experienced loneliness and are happy to have someone. I have always had an SO and a waiting list. My wife is so incredibly good to me that I just can’t leave to fulfill myself. It’s fucked up honestly and I carry a lot of resentment.
This is just the part you asked about and there are complexities throughout but that’s the gist.
You are expressing something that is a problem for you. You feel resentment towards your wife because you can’t hook up with your waiting list? You need therapy, that is a very unhealthy way to live. That ain’t normal.
You sure are commenting a lot for someone that doesnt need therapy
Been there and did the work.
Makes it a bit clearer to see things. Expressing resentment towards a person for a reason other than their actions is not normal , fair or healthy.