I feel like Rome would have done that to them all anyway
Ifykyk
Explanation: During the Third Servile War, a slave uprising led by gladiators, the Roman Republic endured several defeats at the hands of the rebel army which ravaged large stretches of Italy. Rome, despite being immensely warlike, was not expecting to fight a war on Italian soil, and so was unprepared for the uprising. Despite the initial success, the meandering of the rebel army, led primarily by a gladiator veteran called “Spartacus”, stalled it for long enough for Rome to re-organize itself and defeat the rebels. After they were defeated, the rebel army refused to give Spartacus up - either out of loyalty, or because he had already died in the battle. Rome, terrified by the first major war on Italian soil in over a hundred years, crucified all of them along the Appian Way, a major road.
By popular imagining, the refusal of the rebels to give up Spartacus is, by the excellent but not particularly accurate 1960 film Spartacus, performed by them all claiming to be Spartacus to the Romans, rendering any attempt to find the ‘real’ Spartacus impossible. This is not supported by any historical accounts of the war, but is cool as fuck.
The show Spartacus was also pretty goddamn cool. it’s like Sam Rami thought to himself, “I should make soft-core gay gladiator porn in the visual style of 300, but, ya know, about Spartacus,” and then did just that.
if you don’t mind seeing lots of gladiator dick, the show is still pretty great. it went on for 4 seasons.
And a new show premiered a few weeks ago. Spartacus: House of Ashur.
From wikipedia:
The series features an alternate history for Ashur, where he was not killed on Mount Vesuvius during the second season of Spartacus. Instead he is gifted a ludus in return for aiding the Romans in ending the slave rebellion.
Do we also get bush? I like an even split
it might. I’m only just starting the 2nd episode, but if it’s like the original, it will. lots.
Excellent, that means I can sell my wife on it
also, it seems a bit funnier than the original. also, the story its a bit more abstract-- unlike the original, it’s not based on history-- but rather a what-if of if Ashur had survived the revolt. it’s interesting, but the narrative isn’t clear. like-- I don’t really know where they’re going with this, while the story/legend of Spartacus is well-worn territory. I like that’s original, even if it’s a sort of sequel based on a previously-dead character.
what I really appreciate (besides all the hot men) is how they have kept the idiosyncratic vocabulary/syntax of the dialog that makes it seem like latin directly translated into English, rather than all the characters speaking like they live in 2025.
“Once again the gods spread cheeks and ram cock in fucking arse”
Such an incredibly good decision.
A lot of the humor comes from the highly unusual and extremely profane insults they hurl at each other. Incredibly imaginative.
De gustibus non disputandum est
In vino veritas
One of the evolutions of slave culture … where owners realized that they have to keep slaves oppressed but not so oppressed to give them the incentive to want to rebel.
Our owner class understand this dynamic today … keep us all oppressed but not to the point where we will rebel. Keep us all fed with cheap food to keep us from starving and becoming hopeless.
As long as we can eat, even if it is shitty, unhealthy, cheap food that we can barely afford, we’ll never rebel. They can take away our things, our house, our apartment, our shelter but they’ll never take away our cheap food. We can live under a highway overpass with nothing but as long as we can afford a cheap can of beans, we’ll never rebel.
Funny enough, feeding slaves well was usually not an issue. Roman slave rations, even by cheap-ass misers like Cato the Elder, are generally pretty sufficient, providing a good quantity of wheat, olive oil, salt, and wine. Fish sauce was also considered a basic necessity even for slaves. Romans believed diet was core to health, and keeping slaves healthy was thus an investment. On top of that, the Roman understanding of human psychology - that people, including slaves, are better motivated by ‘carrots’ than ‘sticks’ - often rears its head here as well to enable slaves access to better food (or the threat of better food being withheld) in exchange for ‘good behavior’ of one sort or another.
The change that made the Third Servile War the last was that they dismantled the ability of slaves to gather together and organize in large numbers. Once that was gone, the stomach of slaves for mass uprisings dried up. There is power, and bravery, in numbers and solidarity.
G-good thing there are no efforts to disrupt our ability to gather or organize these days… w-we live in a golden age of unions, right…?
They’re keeping us fed (albeit as minimally as possible) … and now they’re going after our means of communicating and organizing on social media … there’s no precedent for that right?
Minimally?
Didn’t They just increase the options at McDonalds? Aren’t you using the app to purchase your FREE McNuggets you ungrateful slave?
Haven’t you heard Homophonic Chicken is woke now?
WHY ARENT YOU CONSUMING
The fun part is figuring out where in that shot the set with actors on crucifixes transitions into the background painting.
