I always hear about the benefits of forgiveness, but that almost seems always like the worst choice.
I had a shitty family with mother that was manipulative which led me to being depressed for more than 4 years, while trying to forgive her and my sisters.
I finally took the decision to stop trying to forgive them and stopped talking and contacting them(since more than a month ago) and my mood and mind had never been better. I was even surprised about the speed depression left me since then.
My point is, forgiveness is a very bad choice.
Even Tit for Tat would agree with my opinion here.
Forgiving and/or forgetting is after the wrongful act is in done, not during, not before. Forgiveness is not permission to continue abuse or mistreatment, which often abusers keep demanding. Forgiveness is fine in healthy relationships, where people make mistakes and often correct themselves. Abuse changes the terms. It is similar to paradox of tolerance. It is a contract. Forgiveness comes with the understanding that the wrongful act will stop and will not happen again. Otherwise they are just demanding impunity.