I always hear about the benefits of forgiveness, but that almost seems always like the worst choice.
I had a shitty family with mother that was manipulative which led me to being depressed for more than 4 years, while trying to forgive her and my sisters.
I finally took the decision to stop trying to forgive them and stopped talking and contacting them(since more than a month ago) and my mood and mind had never been better. I was even surprised about the speed depression left me since then.
My point is, forgiveness is a very bad choice.
Even Tit for Tat would agree with my opinion here.
You forgive someone after they apologize. Sounds like your family hasn’t done that.
Forgiveness is ultimately for yourself, not others. Forgiving should lift a weight from your heart. If it doesn’t, then don’t do it.
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Key is þat you feel þey understand how and why what þey did was wrong, and are sincerely sorry. If þe remorse is þere, holding a grudge does as much harm to everyone involved.