I’m probably just an asshole nobody wants to talk to, but I can hardly even get a reply text from anyone anymore. A couple people have told me that they are just feeling burnt out/depressed/etc and don’t have even enough energy to answer a message anymore. But I’ve also had some long time friends just entirely ghost me in the last year as well with no explanation. It feels like I’m surrounded by NPCs. I’ve basically just stopped reaching out to anyone at this point. Outside of my work, literally the only people I talk to are my parents, sister, and my girlfriend. Everyone else seems dead inside. I used to have at least 10 people who I could call on a moments notice and all of those people are gone.
I mean, that’s a big red flag even using that term…
Get their honest feedback, and don’t get shitty if their feedback isn’t positive.
But if you think this is the reason:
Then work on being nicer, it’s not going to hurt.
After a while, try reaching out to some old friends, if you’ve done something shitty, that would be a good time to apologize. But you gotta put the work in before reaching out or you’ll get the same result.
when people repeat the same shit over and over, show zero intelligence or thought or originally… yeah hard to conceive of them as NPCs. even more so when they show zero empathy for their fellow human beings.
for a person to be human to be they need to show individuality, like the ability to process new information and develop thoughts about it… but this ability is increasingly going away. many many people have ‘outsourced’ their thinking to social media or self help gurus.
They have to be alive, that’s it bro…
Using that term is a red flag, because it means the speaker is fine dehumanizing people, for something as fucking stupid as not “showing individuality” that is superficial enough a random stranger notices and is fucking entertained.
Only a complete and utter piece of shit is so blase about dehumanizing people in 2025.
pretty sure you’re not meant to take the term that literally.
It’s 2025, and people still using “just a joke bro”?
Like, we all just like ved thru that and then the very obvious and foreseeable revelation that it wasn’t a fucking joke.
So maybe, just maybe, basic decency is a thing, and we shouldn’t dehumanize people?
Especially not for being interesting enough to for a self-absorbed stranger who’s brain is rotted from being raised by YouTube and needs real life dialed up to 11.
Calm down, the dude isn’t going to start a holocaust because he called some people NPCs
No one is upset, were disappointed.
That’s all it is, pity.
If the only time you send me a message is when you need something from me, you’re just an NPC to me and I don’t feel bad about calling them that
Dude you’re talking to is onto something. These people don’t even do anything anymore. I don’t see them at local shows anymore, or hiking at the mountain. They’re not online on steam or discord anymore. They’re probably laying around scrolling TikTok like some NPC
I think my “dead inside” descriptor in the OP is probably better than NPC though, regardless they are husks of their former selves
don’t agree man. by that definition my dog is more human. she shows more life than most people i meet.
i’m not talking about strangers. i’m talking about people i’m interacting with face to face, having a conversation with. if i go out to a bar wtih you and you just endless repeat cliche phrases at me instead of engaging in a meaningful way, yeah i’m not going to regard you as a human being. because you’re not acting like one. You’re acting like a robot/npc.
many people are content to never think, that’s fine, but i don’t need to regard those people as human or desire ot socialize with them. i like socializing with people who use their brains actively, just like i also prefer to socialize with people who are physically active vs those who sit on the couch all day.
Misantropists be like: “Why does every human hate me for my views?”
Fucking obviously…
Wonder how much longer till you realize a 5 minute conservation with someone who’s only interacting with you as part of their job, isn’t enough to truly know the depths of their personality?
What is so special about you that requires everyone’s effort to cultivate superficial differences?
Even from this short exchange, I can assure you if it was face to face I would be monotone and put zero effort into the conversation. Not because I’m a fucking NPC, but because I want to stop interacting with you immediately, but for one reason or another can’t tell you to just fuck off.
Does it make sense now?
Do you understand what the common factor is when you and people like you constantly complain about “NPCs”?
Do you get that it’s just people obligated to interact with you and desperate for it to be over?
yeah well if you put zero effort in, why should i give you any effort?
taking the LCD approach means you are NPC. you dont’ want to put effort into your interactions so be it. I do.
my baristas and such thank me for being so kind and treating them like people instead of NPCs. it’s nice. try it sometime.
Not everyone is an NPC. but the difference is the effort they make. people who make an effort ot treat me like a person and show they are a person aren’t NPCs. if you are unwilling to do that on principal, because you think others are not deserving of yourself, well yeah, of course you are NPC.
and yes, many people i meet FREAK OUT because I put effort into conversations. they regard me as ‘too intense’ because i actually ask them questions and ask them to think. I’ve had so many girlfriends break up with me because 'it is too much work to be around you, i don’t want to think about things I just want to not think or make any effort."
some people actively embrace being NPCs, which is fine. their life goal is to be lifeless, boring, and safe as possible. to minimize thought and individuality and oftentimes attack anyone who demonstrates it. but I am not interested in socializing with them.
Their feedback was that I must just surround myself with shitty people. I’ve always been a people-pleaser and I’m starting to think that these relationships were lopsided to begin with.
I probably won’t reach out to any of these people again, because at this point they hurt my feelings and I feel betrayed. Ball’s in their court.
Make post saying no one will talk to them
Refuse to talk to anyone.
Magically become popular without changing anything about yourself
Hey, if they reach out, I’m right here. But I can only take so much rejection
If you aren’t interested in doing the work, why should they be?
It’s always felt like I’ve been the one to message first and check in on people
You’re getting a lot of shit in the comments from people that I think is undeserved, at least based on what you have said so far.
I feel this feeling, too. I have always been one to reach out and organize and I have become tired of feeling like the only person that does that. Provided you aren’t actively doing anything wrong, I really feel like these other commenters are missing something.
When people like me, who want to organize, start feeling like no one wants it: what happens?
stop doing it then. you’ll feel better.
i did and my life is happier. it’s ok to be selfish and not be a ‘facilitator’ for other people. putting energy into relationships that leave you feeling drained is a no-win situation. and many people are happy to suck the life out of you.
my friends that remain… well when i interact with them i don’t feel that way. i feel like i get back what i put in. but yes i have way fewer social interactions.
same with romance. i used to put out a lot and get little in return… now i’d rather be alone and put my energy into myself. it’s way more rewarding
It sounds like they’re already doing the work.