The way I’ve reconciled the Paradox of Tolerance for myself is to view tolerance as part of a social contract. The social contract demands that tolerance be extended to everyone who in turn accepts that social contract themselves. “Being tolerant” doesn’t necessarily require that tolerance to be given out indiscriminately. Like how I wouldn’t consider a vegan any less a vegan if they ended up having to kill something in self-defense, even if they had to kill it by biting chunks out of it.