Def. do that, but also, you just need more practice whether you’re on the spectrum or not.
You are in your own head too much. You have a lot of ideas about big things that are straining at the seams to share with someone so you’re not making it about “making friendly noises” with a stranger or casual acquaintance.
The good news is there’s a surefire cure to this, but again, it takes practice so you don’t forget how to do this one simple trick to making people like you and make friends who will then want to go on to talk about deep things.
ASK QUESTIONS.
They say “Wow that game last night was wild” and you say “Yah? what was your favorite part?”
They say “I hope the weather clears this weekend” you say… NO, NOT DESCRIBING HOW WEATHER WORKS, you ask “What did you have planned?” and so on.
The key here is to set yourself aside. Make it the “Them Show” and they are the star. You are not going to form a lasting friendship by saying the right things at the right time, you won’t get noticed at work by one awesome chat. You do these things by repetition and consistency. Do not “fast forward” in your mind when they are talking, you have to ACTUALLY LISTEN, and set aside whatever is boiling up in your mind to spill out.
If people start associating you with them being able to be the star for a minute, if you make them feel good about sharing their lives, they will start wanting to spend more time with you.
Def. do that, but also, you just need more practice whether you’re on the spectrum or not.
You are in your own head too much. You have a lot of ideas about big things that are straining at the seams to share with someone so you’re not making it about “making friendly noises” with a stranger or casual acquaintance.
The good news is there’s a surefire cure to this, but again, it takes practice so you don’t forget how to do this one simple trick to making people like you and make friends who will then want to go on to talk about deep things.
ASK QUESTIONS.
They say “Wow that game last night was wild” and you say “Yah? what was your favorite part?”
They say “I hope the weather clears this weekend” you say… NO, NOT DESCRIBING HOW WEATHER WORKS, you ask “What did you have planned?” and so on.
The key here is to set yourself aside. Make it the “Them Show” and they are the star. You are not going to form a lasting friendship by saying the right things at the right time, you won’t get noticed at work by one awesome chat. You do these things by repetition and consistency. Do not “fast forward” in your mind when they are talking, you have to ACTUALLY LISTEN, and set aside whatever is boiling up in your mind to spill out.
If people start associating you with them being able to be the star for a minute, if you make them feel good about sharing their lives, they will start wanting to spend more time with you.