Original post: https://lemmy.world/post/38350973
I hope update is allowed.
Today I talked to my boss. Surprisingly, she was very accepting. I told her what happened over the weekend the aggressor and I worked. How the aggressor was passively aggressively rude to me. She was laterally commanding me (“Go home!”,"Go eat!) when she was just my peer, my equal, not my boss.
She was constantly over my shoulder trying to catch my mistakes. When i did, she would sneer. She thrives on the power of superiority. That just made me unable to focus. When I didn’t make mistake, she looked like a dear caught in headlights.
She was harassing me to the point I couldn’t concentrate.
My boss asked if I noticed any interaction between the aggressor and my co-workers. Luckily, I did remember and I told her!
Yes, I have proofs. I am a popular person. I even told my boss to ask anyone at work and they would back me up. This how confident I was.
Needless to say. The bully is not so brave now.
Lesson learned. Speak up! I wasn’t going to tell my boss until I learned that I wasn’t the only victim. Silence is not the answer.
I was harassed at work and I am going to file a complaint on Friday. I am scared as hell
I’m glad you stood up for yourself! That’s not a small achievement in the least!
You were backed up by supportive staff, but if you had not taken the initiative, this wouldn’t have happened.
Nice work!
Thank you so much. I was so glad my boss and the lead were sympathetic. I am also so glad Manny co-workers are also on my side.
Good for you … your bully will move on to the next easy target and leave you alone. Just be ready to help or support the next person they will bother.
It is sad but true. Bullies tend to look for easy targets that didn’t fight back. She probably didn’t think I would talk to the boss.
Why do some people have to make life so hard for others? I am so popular and kind and she mistook my kindness as weakness. I hate to be so confrontational.
Take it as a life lesson … if anyone says or does anything abusive or manipulative, stand up for yourself … always.
And a step beyond that is … if you see anyone being treated that way, also stand up and say something. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to say something to stop any abuse.
The more you do things like this in a kind respectful and thoughtful way of protecting yourself and others, the more you will be recognized as a strong individual that everyone can rely on or respect. It builds a shield around you that will allow fewer people or systems to want to abuse you.
Sometimes, just the act or saying you don’t like a behaviour or you don’t accept that is more than enough to stop someone from starting any abusive behaviour.
Needless to say. The bully is not so brave now.
Could you elaborate a little bit about what happened/what that means?
Also, I saw your earlier post just now and your comment about not being a part of any protected group. That’s not exactly how it works. Everyone is. Everyone has a race, sex, national origin, etc. As an example, if a workplace gave all women a paid day off for International Women’s Day and didn’t have some equivalent for men, that would be illegally discriminatory against men. That may not be common, but that doesn’t make it legal.
That said, if those protected classes don’t seem to be the basis of how your coworker is treating others or how your company handles it, it’s probably a non-issue.
I think you are missing the point. The point is I stood up for myself and it surprised the bully. The bully thought I would remain quiet and be her punching bag. Now that my boss talked to her. She stays away from me and her tone of voice is very different.
I am glad my boss, the lead and my co-workers are all on my side. As I said, I am very popular and kind. She mistook my kindness as weakness and it was her mistake.
And I’m glad it worked out too. You just kinda "needless to say"ed over the best part!
