Panic is reportedly spreading among Republicans as whispers grow louder about what’s hidden in the unreleased Jeffrey Epstein files — and just how bad they could be for Donald Trump.
I always imagined the Business Plot going down like…
this war hero who gave his entire life towards serving his country walks into congress exclaiming “by god you all need to hear this, these unscrupulous businessmen came to me trying to get me to pull a coup…”
congress goes - …slow blink… no need for a coup, they already own us. the war hero leaving with his entire reality shattered as he knows noone (no common man, atleast) would believe his story, especially not after the story is spun by the media conglomerates that were a part of the plot
then in a followup phonecall congress exclaims… “godfuckingdamnit JPM, do you really have to pull this prank on every other innocent (in the conscious sense) war hero we got? doesn’t that ever get old?”
My favorite conspiracy theory is that the NBA draft lottery is rigged. People always say “oh no it couldn’t possibly be rigged because it’s overseen by the accounting firm Ernst & Young”. It used to be overseen by the accounting firm Arthur Andersen until they got busted aiding and abetting the Enron scam.
For me it’s the Gunpowder Plot but probably only because it failed.
Enron is a pretty good one too, since it resulted in the collapse of one of these shitty megacorps.
Most conspiracies are just depressing shit though like the Reichstag fire and the Business Plot.
At least MK Ultra gave us some wild stories.
I always imagined the Business Plot going down like…
this war hero who gave his entire life towards serving his country walks into congress exclaiming “by god you all need to hear this, these unscrupulous businessmen came to me trying to get me to pull a coup…”
congress goes - …slow blink… no need for a coup, they already own us. the war hero leaving with his entire reality shattered as he knows noone (no common man, atleast) would believe his story, especially not after the story is spun by the media conglomerates that were a part of the plot
then in a followup phonecall congress exclaims… “godfuckingdamnit JPM, do you really have to pull this prank on every other innocent (in the conscious sense) war hero we got? doesn’t that ever get old?”
My favorite conspiracy theory is that the NBA draft lottery is rigged. People always say “oh no it couldn’t possibly be rigged because it’s overseen by the accounting firm Ernst & Young”. It used to be overseen by the accounting firm Arthur Andersen until they got busted aiding and abetting the Enron scam.
When I was an accountant my shred box had “Arthur Andersen Audits, 2000-2004” on the front of it. Big laughs every time someone saw it