Cavatappi

Aka couscous.

I also love adult chocolate milk Starbucks

a and o are on opposite end of the keyboard

Maybe the author has a Dvorak keyboard layout (a and o are next to each other there).

My dad (a chemo patient) was in the hospital with kidney problems late last year. At one point a couple of palliative care nurses came in to see him and basically told him he was dying and should go into hospice rather than continuing with chemo. My dad initially agreed but later changed his mind and told me he felt he had been pressured by these nurses. I found myself wondering if these nurses worked on commission or something and got paid by insurance companies to convince old people (on very expensive chemotherapy regimens) to give up. One of the nurses looked exactly like Jesus (the traditional white Jesus of wall art fame) and I wondered if he intentionally cultivated that specific look.

Unfortunately, my dad died less than two weeks later, so I can’t say these nurses were wrong.

I would have expected him to be more excited, knowing he was going to go home and have the best sex of his life.

I need to go put this up in my skoolie.

We need to go back to the good old days. When we invaded foreign countries for bananas.

Back when I was a kid my mom read Herman Wouk’s The Winds of War – and it took her my entire childhood to do it. She only read when we were on vacation, which was only like one week a year. I’m not entirely sure she ever finished the book. I’m also waiting for her to finish the sweater she started knitting for me in 1978.

I bought a house two years ago and had a plumber come out to install a new water heater. He asked me where the water meter was and I had to say “fuck if I know”. He said lots of people just let their water account lapse and then remove the meter and tap directly into the water line in the street and get free water. He assumed that the previous owner of my house had done this; I was pondering whether this was a bad thing or not when he found the actual water meter out in the yard under a metal cover. Good news? Probably not – it turns out my house water is supplied by a very cheap independent local water authority, but they had to go into bankruptcy along with the city and apparently some Saudis are planning to buy it to provide water to grow alfalfa for their racehorses.

drinking one glass of whisky

To be fair, medical professionals generally triple or quadruple patients’ reported alcohol consumption.

In college I arranged a co-op at IBM. They made me take a drug test which I failed (for marijuana). A person from IBM’s HR called me and said literally “you need to clean up your act” and they brought me in to do the co-op anyway. I have no idea what the fuck that was all about.

I also got pulled over for speeding one time and the cop smelled the joint I had been smoking. Luckily he let me go with just a speeding ticket, but he made a point of scolding me – not for driving while high but because I was 49 at the time. He told me it was time for me to grow up. I was seriously enraged by that but of course I kept it to myself.

British cartoon pig?

My brother is a solid liberal and hates Trump, but for some unknown reason he hopped on Putin’s dick years ago. Whenever his defense of Putin descends into bad comedy, he claims that if Putin is actually a bad person then the CIA installed him. Which somehow makes him a good person? I dunno. I assume that some random podcasters somewhere are running around defending Putin because podcasts are my brother’s sources for all knowledge.

The New England Federation will probably be pretty chill.

Please god let Pennsylvania join. Or even better, just the eastern part.

Is that Il Douche?

Blue Velvet was good, lots of fun weird shit but also a plot that moved along. It made me rent Eraserhead which in turn almost made me give up movies entirely.

From Here to Eternity is like that. The book is truly a great piece of literature, but the movie (made in the 1950s) excises pretty much everything worthwhile in the book. Just as one example, the book has a character who can’t get any contact with women in pre-war Hawaii so he starts getting blowjobs from gay men in parks. Eventually he builds up so much guilt from this that he shoots himself in the head in the barracks. I can’t remember whether the character was even in the movie but obviously no hint of those activities show up. There’s also the main character taking up with a prostitute who is magically not a prostitute at all in the movie.

The book has so much stuff like this in it that I can’t understand why they even tried to make a movie out of it in 1953.

Try Jim Jarmusch’s Stranger than Paradise. It’s great, it’s a classic, but you’re going die out of boredom if The Godfather is already too much for you.

And if you survive that you can move right on to Eraserhead.

There’s one house in my neighborhood that still has a “TRUMP LOW PRICES | KAMALA HIGH PRICES” sign in their yard. The kicker is that it’s a black family and the house is in a subsidized housing development funded by the county. Just needs a “BEWARE OF FACE-EATING LEOPARDS” sign next to it.