- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?
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That is so needlessly and intensely erotic
Penetrative thrust into the chip reader 😩
Here’s exactly what my feed looks like. I’d say this is further evidence that the straights are not okay.
Admit you’re gay or take 25.
This dude takes 50 cards (just in case).
This guy has definitely fucked a chip reader.
I mean, we all have. Right?
I stopped fingering one to type this and now its doing the error beep.
I do the thrust, but it’s because I’m old and forget that tapping is an option.
What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?
Why are y’all taking this seriously?
IDK but I’m pan so it’s obvious to me that this is satire.
Yes but thats because you may be self aware.
I know. Obviously straights aren’t people.
there are a non zero amount of straight guys who saw this and will never tap their card ever again
Meanwhile me: tapping my card every single time for totally cis reasons
“straight”
Doesn’t make this any less of an obvious joke
There’s no hope for any who do.
There is nothing more fragile than the masculinity of “bros” who worship masculinity.
For true contactless payment I do neither. I just hover my card / handset near the reader.
Is there something I should know about myself?
Yes. That you should be waving it over the reader and saying “you don’t require payment” loud enough for the cashier to hear
this isn’t the credit card you’re looking for
It makes you tripple gay
When I was a cashier, there was definitely a subset of people - usually the same people wearing maga hats - who did refuse to use the tap. They believed it was insecure. I looked it up, it’s slightly more secure than the chip (if only because contactless systems are not yet susceptible to counterfeit card reader attachments).
It was pretty annoying too, because I was frequently stationed at a register that had a broken chip reader. Some people would get frustrated very quickly and, like, start rage-jamming the card into the machine repeatedly. It’s kind of scary how many people go from 0-60 unhinged at checkout.
After learning about the security aspect, and because of that broken reader, I made it a point to educate everyone I could about the tap. A lot of people aren’t even aware their card can do that stuff.
I wonder how the chip reader got broken
Yeah if only there were part of this story which could shed light on it…
The tap on my card stopped working a few weeks after I got it, I hope nobody thinks I’m toxic because I have to swipe or insert.
I just tap it every time and half the time it doesn’t work. Well I tap with my phone, then tap with card, then insert, then it tells me to swipe so I swipe.
I exercise ultimate security by just having no money. If anybody manages to open the Pandora’s Box that is my bank account, best of luck to them.
I’ve set up a cognitohazard in my bank account. Anyone who looks into it is disassembled into their component parts and sold off to appease my rampaging bank fees.
It’s more secure to have a card that can’t do the tap
Do you have evidence for this?
Yes, I work with the things. Skimmers can steal a bunch of personal info and possibly vault your card (although that would tie the charge down to a payment processor and could flag the risk mechanisms, so it’s not likely to go on for long)
But you can charge people smaller amounts and set it up to not require a pin, then it’ll return back the name on the card and a bunch of other stuff, like the last 4 digits on the card, card issuer, and expiration date
I’m sure you could walk through a busy city and get enough names to make that sellable to scammers, or leave skimmers around long term
How is it more secure? Surely needing the card + pin is more secure than just carrying the card its self.
So from what I remember, the chip and the tap use pretty much the same authentication systems under the hood. They’re pretty identical in that way. The pin number and how that’s implemented is kind of a joke, because every card reader has ways to accept a payment from a card without even needing the pin (usually). Still better to use a pin of course, and that’s something the tap supports too.
Like I said before, right now a common threat to chip cards is spoof devices that criminals try to surreptitiously install onto legitimate card readers. Like a hardware keylogger basically. So - and as far as I know, this might not even be true anymore - the one main advantage the tap has over the chip is that it is not susceptible to these spoof reader devices.
My idea was that if someone gets my card, they’ll still need pin. Plus I disabled withdrawals by card. And after disabling NFC, it doesn’t even seem to show the card number + expiration that I could just scan with https://github.com/devnied/EMV-NFC-Paycard-Enrollment (the numbers show in older versions), which could be done by tapping my pocket. Online payments often need 3D Secure, though unfortunately, not always.
However, nowadays I start to encounter a lot of contactless only terminals, so I just started switching to cash. Vending machines still typically take coins.
No dad it’s not hormones I just accidentally tapped my card at the store and instantly grew a set of boobs.
Paying for things is feminine. You should punch the cashier and shout “this is mine!” like a real man.
/s, obviously
Pay the iron price
Did you pay the tap price or insert price, son?
If I pay cash, does that make me nonbinary?
No, it makes you suspicious. Only criminals pay in cash, and the FBI wants to ask you a few questions.
The FBI can ask as many questions as they like. They’re over there, and I’m over here.
Depends, do you gayly slide it over or do you slam it on the counter, breaking it?
How does one slam a bill on the counter breaking it?
Ohhhhh… Were you talking about breaking the counter?
The bill collides into the counter with such force that both immediately disintegrate into a cloud of hot plasma.
Hot damn
How does one slam a bill on the counter breaking it?
Forcefully. /j
This pairs well with my draft article “Penetration fascination slows wireless charging adoption”
Instructions unclear, my penis is stuck in a card reader and I have a lifetime ban from Chipotle.
Can someone make a shitty shop of a card reader with a card in it and a aheago face please?
Sure thing
I hear the newer versions now like it in the receipt hole.
Also: who needs AI…a text prompt leading to the creation of a new image. You’ve seen it here folks.
Topic, I love you it’s perfect!
Thank you, its beautiful
Is this satire?
Given the wording “confident and penetrative thrust”, I think it must be satire.
I checked out the Twitter account. I think it’s clearly a joke, but the guy is a big Trump supporter so I’d say he does ultimately believe the rhetoric behind the joke. Therefore, not satire.
Thank you for putting in the work.
I overestimate people…
I fucking hope so
But I suspect it isn’t.
