I guess this is me now.
A bunch of people in here without something solid two feet to the left of them seem to be assuming that there is a perfect them-shaped vaccuum that they will be teleported into. That’s not the case. There is air there, and you’ll be just as dead as the guy sitting next to the family refrigerator.
Unless you are an astronaut currently in space, the only correct answer is “dying of multiple simultaneous embolisms, with or without widespread traumatic amputations, and ‘gross dismemberment’ (SFW, only text) from instantaneous pressure changes inside the body.”
Presumably, teleportation is a bidirectional process, and everything that was occupying the space you now take gets teleported to your previous position.
Solution: telefrag everything.
My dog and I are now one. We have become, dogperson. All the bipedability of a person, with the infinite compassion of a dog. We are unstoppable.
Ed… Ward…
actually just turns into werewolf, hungry for flesh
I am now sitting on the exact same bench in the exact same position except two feet to the left
Same, except it’s a sofa and I’d have the TV remote up my ass.
Same, except on a couch
I am now laying on my sister’s bed instead of my own.
If this happened 10 minutes ago, I would be outside of my car on the highway and that would be bad.
And that is why you don’t read lemmy while driving!
that works for this exercise but what if the prompt was “you’ve been teleported 2 feet to the left 10 minutes ago. How did this affect you?”
You’re old enough to own a car, but your bed is within two feet of your sister’s? Please help me understand.
We live together in a very small apartment.
My ass hits the asphalt at 120km/h, not entirely sure I will still be capable of pooping from there after that.
Dead I guess, bricked inside wall
I’m midway through the wall and no longer on the toilet.
I’m in a closet with way too many clothes and also no longer on the toilet
I’m falling down my apartment building’s stairwell. Ow.
i am telefragged as my head is now inside of a table
IIRC the way telefragging works in Quake is that the thing occupying the destination gets telefragged. I think that you’d be okay and the table would be seriously messed up.
Pooping in the shower. What else is new?
I would be in my bed because I’m laying on my left side and have a thick bed
Trapped in the storage
in the next apartment’s bedroom, which belongs to a 70 year old lady who insisted that I need to eat more fruits (she always has some fruits ready to give out every time she sees me).
Sitting on the right side of the couch, now sitting on the left side of the couch… Merged with my dog. Very animorphs
Now I have 3 left feet?
