• sbv@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    73
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    it’s a hard transition to make when we want so desperately to help and are asked not to.

    Listening is helping. It took me a while to get that, but we’re helping just by being quiet.

    • Zorque@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      26
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yes, but there’s a disconnect between helping directly and helping indirectly. Listening is indirect help, passive help. It’s helping simply by existing, which is antithetical to the above commenters train of logic.

      I’m not saying you’re wrong, or that it’s not something that people should learn to do… but it’s not always something you can solve by making that connection.

      • Ataraxia@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 year ago

        Many people don’t want advice and that’s fine. I complain not because I want them to fix it but because it helps me organize my thoughts and verify that my complaints are valid so that I can see if it’s something I can fix myself, often though complaining about bad things that I cannot fix. I am perfectly capable of handling problems as an adult, but people need to vent so they can actually focus on a solution.

    • maniclucky@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yup. It’s akin to “not making a choice is itself a choice”. It doesn’t feel like it is, but can be equally impactful.