People. You don’t need this shit. I promise.
Close your eyes, take a moment and just imagine the engineering culture at Eight Sleep. I’d almost rather be homeless than work there.
It’s amazing that they actually designed the beds to fail in the worst possible way. I mean this is cartoon crazy.
Ha, this reminds me of the death of the guy that gave the world lead poisoning.
He also invented CFCs, the chemical that nearly destroyed the earth’s protective ozone layer. Quite a guy.
also CFCs!
he was a one-man ecological disasterHis best invention was the bed that killed him! If only those who designed the “smart” beds that need functioning network access (and working AWS) had all been in one.
Never buying smart anything. Wish we could buy a smart president though.
deleted by creator
So instead of it defaulting to last known good settings, it couldn’t poll AWS to retrieve the user settings and either just went into debug alert mode or the hardcoded defaults are full upright and max temp. More premium products kneecapped by poor management in a race to enshittify everything
$2000 is very mid for a bed.
No it is not.
I paid $700 CAD for my king size. You bougie
A reminder to not buy “smart” home appliances unless you can self-host it’s internet connectivity or its “smart” features are optional.
You had me until “unless”.
smart home appliances are tolerable if they have 0 (zero, cero, null, ling, sifr, mee-then, noll) internet access
Yup, Zigbee all the way! Although that new Matter protocol seems kinda promising as well
Online first, and they’re only now working on offline mode? Okay…
this is worse than getting locked out of your smart oven for not paying subsceiption
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But why does a bed need to be smart? This is the dumbest timeline ever. It really is
To help people with paralysis shimmy into their wheelchairs in the morning and to keep the elderly in poorly insulated homes from freezing in the night.
okay sounds good. why the cloud thou
Thou must use the cloud so that thine company hast a recurring revenue stream.
Likely has remote monitoring and control functionality for nursing staff or families
From what I’ve seen, it’s actually a really good product. Just that the company is trash and forces subscriptions and the mattresses to be always online.
How can that possibly be a good product?
The tech and the physical product is good. The software and the system around it is bad.
forces the mattresses to be always online
Bahahahaha!
I feel like if I was gonna put a computer attached to a motor & heater inside a bed, the very first step would be making sure that if the software goes wrong, it always defaults to staying bed shaped and not catching fire.
I know I know hindsight is 20/20, I’m sure I’m just missing something. Venture capitalists would just give their money to any random idiot with a pitch, right?
why? what if they want more money and decide to make it go subscription based? do you and the shareholders want to risk people just…unplugging them and continuing to use them? the mere idea made me drop my monocle .
It’s already subscription based lol
Wow, imagine having to pay a subscription to have a 2-year warranty.
Laughs in European
Yeah, exactly.
why do people buy these things!?!?!
Because they sold their house they paid 12 acorns for for $2M and grandpa already has a Corvette.
Because bored Western middle class in a consumerist society.
Because their favourite YouTuber tells them how much better they’re feeling after getting one.
It’s why sponsorships are an outright negative for me when looking at products. They abuse the authority influencers seem to get. “Oh I like him and his videos, he wouldn’t lie to me.” Yeah right.
Absolutely, some youtubers are nothing but paid shills.
On the other hand, there are some who have a lot of integrity. If TechMoan for example tells us that something actually works, I’ll be very inclined to believe him.
What a stupid fucking product.
Sorry, I meant to say “stupid fucking people buying stupid fucking products.”
Right, and we should protect them by passing laws penalizing companies from such shitty software. Cuz the average person can’t access the source code.
Beds are often used for fucking. Beds are fucking products.
You know this bed is great and all, but what it’s really missing is a mandatory connection to the Internet!
…jfc
“Carla! Carla! What the fuck is this? I know you sleep on a 25. A 25 or a 30 if you fuck up swiping. I know for a fucking fact that you would NEVER choose to sleep on a 60, and yet I found a goddamn record of a 60 when I was out last week. Who was it? Who was here?”
I really can’t see any other reason. A dial isn’t sexy but it’s far easier in every way
Look you wanted a smart bed. We either incorporate that locally and jack the price and size 50%, or we offload the processing to a server farm and require internet
People in the 80’s: “In the year 2025 we’re going to have hoverboards and flying cars!”
2025: “I can’t use my bed because the servers are down”
Stop making the future stupid. Never buy anything that needs to be connected to a server to work for no good reason.
Smart products themselves are not the issue. The issue is making everything cloud based. The solution is companies designing their products so they can be controlled over the network.
It’s a fucking bed! It doesn’t need a persistent connection to some server. The problem is that they also want to mine and sell your data.
Smart products are part of the issue, and smart products that fail in dumb ways are a really big part of the issue.
Any smart product, pretty much by definition, has to have a computer in it. Anything with a computer in it can be hacked. There’s really no good reason that your bed should have an attack surface.
If you are going to have smarts in something, it really needs to fail well. Like, for a bed, it should have something that bypasses the smarts and lets it go back to “dumb bed” mode no matter what. No matter what position it’s in, it should be possible to make it go flat even if you have no Internet connection. In fact, even if the smart parts are not working at all, there should be a way to make it go flat, even if that’s a purely mechanical system that allows you to bypass the motors.
That’s the key. They want to mine and sell the data
Smart products are named oxymoronically.
Also people in the 80’s: “I love my waterbed, but my back is killing me for some reason.”
