• Flickerby@lemmy.zip
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    8 hours ago

    “OMG these people are incel losers they have no worth and deserve to die!”

    “Incel losers” commits a horrific crime because they were treated like they have no worth and deserve to die

    “OMG can you believe it? We should bully them harder, that will fix things!”

    Maybe the fucking problem is people treating these poor people so horribly. We want to PREVENT such things happening which means addressing the root of the problem and trying to catch people who could fall into those destructive manoaphere circles BEFORE they get the idea to commit mass murder. I’m PRETTY positive the solution isn’t to bully them more.

    • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
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      41 minutes ago

      “Incel losers” commits a horrific crime because they were treated like they have no worth and deserve to die

      What makes you think that was why a particular crime was committed? There are lots and lots of people who get bullied and are treated like shit and they don’t act out in some horrible, violent way.

      I think it’s these communities that they’re in that encourage that kind of behavior. We need better support structures for our society so that people who need community can find something healthy.

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      5 hours ago

      I thought we agreed to treat every life as worthless, unless they have a couple of million dollars on them, regardless of gender or race?

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      A part that complicates things is that incels, contrary to what the name implies, choose to be incels. Also, working with incels specifically could end up giving a perverse incentive (or whatever it’s called when an effort to reduce something instead becomes an incentive to increase it) to be an incel to get help.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          25 minutes ago

          Yeah, inceldom is a mindset, choosing to be bitter about their state of affairs and lash out at others for not wanting them. I don’t frequent their areas, but some of them blame various ratios of their facial positioning when their face is fine, it’s just their attitude that is shitty.

          I guess it could be argued how much one can change their personality to be less off-putting, but I’ve known some real ugly dudes that have had fine dating lives.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          I realize you’re probably just making a joke but the reality is that there are few people so ugly that no one would have sex with them. Even if you keep your standards high, I’m sure there’s many cases of someone whose own mother would cry at the sight of that managed attract a model who is just into that.

          But the attitude is very off-putting, more so than whatever physical characteristics they think disqualifies them from love or sex (and a good number of them aren’t even unattractive but just have no self-esteem and hate themselves so much they either can’t believe someone else would like them or that someone who does must have big problems of their own or is lying to use them).

          Even the niceguy attitude is offputting, and the incel attitude is pretty much that but replace the sadness with anger and the depression with rage, and add a bunch of BS masquerading as the science of attraction that proves they aren’t attractive and ignores that it’s subjective and that there’s this weird “so ugly it’s cute” category that some/many people seem to have (though it usually applies to animals rather than people).

          • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
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            34 minutes ago

            This is the Just World Fallacy. Saying “You can’t get laid because you have a bad attitude” isn’t any different from saying “The reason why you’re homeless is because of your bad attitude.”

            Okay. Does that help at all? Abso-fucking-lutely not.

            • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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              14 minutes ago

              I disagree that it’s unhelpful. I’ll agree that it’s not an easy thing like “just smile more, you’ll get laid!” But step 1 for any incel to actually get laid would be to stop being a fucking incel and recognize that no one owes them sex, affection, or even a moment of their time to hear them out or explain why they won’t.

              If you choose to wallow in something, whether it be inceldom or depression, you’re going to find it very difficult or impossible to come out of that.