My dream growing up was to live in New York, so maybe I can explain the allure. I grew up in a small town, wide open spaces, what a lot of people say they want. In my town everyone knew everyone’s name, they’d wave at you, they’d say hello, everyone went to church, quite close to the “American Ideal”.

Except no one talks about what it’s like to actually live in a small town. All the niceness is a facade. We were poor, my parents were divorced, we worked minimum wage jobs to scrape by. When people waved they would immediately start talking about how I was a part of that family, did you hear what their mom is doing for work? I heard she can’t even afford clothing for her kids. Church was just High School 2.0 for people in a small town, where cliques formed and people are ostracized. In a small town everyone knows you, everyone knows your business, everyone knows your secrets, and unless you’re in the right circles, it can feel quite ostracizing. (And that’s not even covering the lack of anything to do or eat or culture or anything).

So yeah. A city like New York smells. And there are a lot of people. That’s the allure. You’re completely anonymous. People from small towns think New Yorkers are mean. They’re not. They just don’t care about you, and that’s a wonderful feeling. People don’t need to wave to show human kindness. If you trip and fall in New York chances are someone will ask if you’re okay, and then never see you again. In a small someone might help you, and then they’ll talk about it later to people you know. There’s a kindness in the throngs of random people - and I love that.

Smells you can walk right past, crowds you can ignore or move a block over to where it’s quieter. There are parks and rivers when you feel cramped. There are escapes in a big city. In a small town there is no escape.

So anyway, not trying to “convince” you that you’re wrong, but maybe you’ll see why others like it.