**So i’m in a bit of a weird position in my life right now. I’ve known i’m trans for the past 3ish years and recently started college. Most of the people around me seem to be pretty supportive and my parents are also supportive. I already have everyone calling me by my choice name but other then that I havent done anything I really want to actually start to transition so I can stop being depressed and there are some moments where like i really want to buy fem clothes but i go on amazon and its just too big of a mental hurdle to do anything related to transitioning has anyone else experianced something like this where they were in a place where they could transition and nothing was preventing them but they were just too scared to if so how did you deal with it?
Edit: Thanks so much for the advice everyone I think going on hrt is too scary for me but I’ll order some fem clothes tomorrow. I really appreciate the advice and kind words <3
What resources would you recommend specifically for figuring out how to get hrt? I am more willing to take the steps after learning how important it is but I still am unsure especially because as far as I know unless you do diy which is risky you have to go through the medical system which takes really long and also has diagnosis and also that migjt not be a great idea to me bc of current politics
So, a few things: DIY is not as risky as it sounds, it’s a grey market and last time I checked, you can often just buy the stuff you would have been prescribed, i.e. lab-made, pharmaceutical-grade, FDA-regulated estrogen - but a lot of people buy vials that are compounded not by professional labs, which does carry more risk obviously, but those vials are occasionally tested and there haven’t been any major incidents or risks as far as I know - so the consensus seems to be that DIY is safe and effective, and you should absolutely consider it an option.
However, since you’re in the U.S. there is absolutely no need to go DIY when you can get it through a Rx. There are no mandatory wait times for estrogen in the U.S., you don’t usually have to even have a letter from a psychologist. I personally called my primary care physician and told them I have gender dysphoria, and they sent a referral to an endocrinologist I had found that treats trans patients. I did have a three month wait to see the endo, and that is a time I wish I could have gone back and been on DIY while waiting, but when I saw the endo, he prescribed me estrogen that day and I went to a pharmacy and had it filled same-day.
Some IRL friends just go to Planned Parenthood, who have doctors you can see and who operate on an informed consent model, which means you don’t need a letter but you can just consent to taking HRT.
As far as diagnosis, those medical records should be private but I absolutely understand the concern. You will need a proper diagnosis for some procedures to be covered by insurance, so something to consider is the long term there - you may not be able to avoid a diagnosis forever depending on your medical needs, but with the Trump admin trying to force hospitals to turn over records I can understand the concern.
Regardless, this is where I would connect with your local trans community and ask which doctors they see. I used to live in the South where trans healthcare was banned for minors, but if you knew the right people, you could still find doctors who would treat patients. One of the ways this is achieved is by the doctors using a different diagnosis code, for example. I have also heard of doctors offering to delete or scrub references to the diagnosis from the medical chart.
So this is a discussion to have with your local trans community and with the doctors they recommend - you may be surprised at what they can do to help you and what your options are. And if that falls through, DIY is a safe, effective, and reasonable alternative (despite how sus it may seem).
And regardless, I think the politics again shouldn’t drive you away from treatment, but towards it - concerns about diagnosis are wise and worthwhile, but if your fear of a diagnostic record existing means living as a visibly trans person for longer, the real risks of delayed treatment might be greater on the streets than the potential risks of a medical record existing and later implicating you. Realistically, once we are at the level that a gender dysphoria diagnosis in your private medical records are a direct risk to your safety more than not being cis-passing, you should realistically be fleeing the country.
It might also be tempting to think you can avoid persecution by just not transitioning, but the reality is that you can’t choose to be trans, and whether you transition or not won’t change the fact of your gender dysphoria - among your options, living without care is one of the worst ones, and the risks from transitioning are overall still lower.
Any idea how I could find some trans communities irl? I live in a city but I don’t know how to look for those types of groups and this is sort of the first time I’ve gone and actually not lurked and said something on a specifically trans community
In most cities, there are major pride and LGBT+ organizations (look for the people who organize the local pride parades, for example), and some of those are bound to have a trans support group that meets. That’s how I got connected to my local trans community - through pride organizations like that, and trans support groups they hosted.
Trans folks I met through support groups could be really toxic sometimes, it’s not like everyone you meet will be great - but often the organizers in the local community will be responsible and able to connect you to resources and the right people.
Also, when I lived in the South, there was actually something like a trans version of a green book, basically a guide to providers in different categories that are safe for trans people - that’s how I found my endocrinologist, in the Trans in the South Guide. Sometimes these guides exist for places outside the south as well, so worth googling to find if there are any LGBT+ guides or directories for where you live. I find they’re less common in blue states, because the need is strongest in places like the south where risks are higher and there are far fewer people willing to treat trans patients.