cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/35965987
this is a coworker.
to me a clear no, this person jokes about it and smiles. I can share her frustration with stupid job tasks, demanding clients, or having to get up too early, commute… I find her genuine and full of energy, I like working with her, she’s sincere. I like that in people, she likes to help.
However, other 2 female colleagues have the opposite point of view: there is something that troubles her because she constantly jokes about death, killing herself due to some clients, waking up early…
We all agree she is so full of energy, my colleagues say she jokes about it constantly. I hear her joking about once or twice a day.
Am I being naive?
Depends if it’s actually a funny joke.
A fixated mind might take an opportunity to blurt something out in a conversation… It would be awkward, not really fit in with what’s happening, and then the hiding reflex takes over. It gets played off as a joke to cover up what happened.
A active mind will dance and play with all kinds of ideas and sometimes will play with the concept of death, what it means and how bizarre the concept is on a lot of levels. Jokes will be throwaway comments that are at least mildly witty.
Not necessarily. Some people are just into shock humour.
Never cracked a joke about it when my idiations were serious. Actually talking about it in any form is a coping mechanism for me. So no jokes are usually not a red flag in my book.
Similar for me. In the moment, talking about dying doesn’t feel like a joke. After you’ve seen enough and come out the other side, death doesn’t feel significant or threatening enough to have to worry about joking about. I feel like those who joke about killing themselves have either never felt like doing it or have confronted it and moved on.
And suicide jokes are probably best kept for groups where you know where people are. A lot of people mask being suicidal by joking around and putting a lot of work into being upbeat, often surprising those who only know them superficially when they commit suicide.
That was my usual. Always trying to claim things were good or I was doing great! Those are the ones I try to get a real talk with. But it’s also just trying to get a connection truthfully. I know my times were worst when I felt alone (and I was not, I just couldn’t find the way to talk to my friends). And such I joke as much as I can cause anytime someone says “that’s dark” or “have some sympathy” I tell them my story and try to always be open about it.
I find it helpful to think of it like emotional asthma. She’s a little wheezy right now. She should probably take things a little easier. She might need a puff of her “inhaler” (although if she does have rescue meds for mental health it’s probably a pill) but ultimately that’s her private business. She’s not doing her best but that also doesn’t necessarily mean she needs to be committed or even necessarily inpatient. Suicidal ideation can absolutely be managed outpatient in a lot of cases as long as there’s no active plan / intent and there’s a solid safety plan in place.
In fact if you’re interested in learning more about safety planning and other things you can personally do to manage your own mental health you should come join us over at [email protected] We also have a wiki that specifically includes a page on safety planning!
Personally, I think that is a sign of functional depression in my non-professional opinion.
Check out passive vs active suicidal ideation. The frequency of jokes sounds alarming, although I’m not sure if the intent is there.
If it is, then the entire black/dark comedy genre is full of troubled people.
It depends. Joking is a coping strategy and she’s probably aware of her own inner state. You could privately ask her if everything is ok, and also tell her people are noticing the jokes and worrying about her. I wouldn’t get anyone else involved unless I thought the person was in immediate danger, or dangerous to other people.
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I feel like nothing we say is 100% a joke. Maybe 99% at most.
