Watches bro!
Digital watches are fine & the battery operated ones are cool too, God speed to them, but I’m talking about the Analogue ones.
Specifically Automatic ones.
Fucking piece of assembled metal parts and it will go all tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick on its own from the moment you put it on your wrist.
It’ll continue to show you the proper time. Some will also tell you what day of the week it is or what’s the date. Heck, I’ve got one that tells me the day, date, month AND the moon phase!
On top of this, these nuggets are built such, that they will last longer than your poor ass on this planet, still blingy and going tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.
You know those make Seikos and Citizen? Those mfs put bloody gps AND solar IN.A.FUCKING.WRIST.WATCH!
Why you ask?
So that when your dumb ass gives up on adjusting to the local time after you get off the plane in a different time zone, it will do it for you. That shit is too posh for your fumbly fingers to try to set the correct time, so it says, “Hold on, let me look at the sky real quick and I will set the day,date & time myself, you are too dazed and hungover. Please save your filthy fingers for your disgusting Doritos.”
You know the best part? They look more gorgeous than Kate Winslet’s porcelain titties embellished with a diamond neck piece.
It’ll cost less than your monthly groceries. Don’t miss out bro, get one.\