“If someone rings my doorbell and runs away, they’re targeting my house for a burglary” is a thing lots of people unironically believe.

God help me, I’m going to lose it with the next idiot that I hear this shit from. My parents constantly regurgitate simulacrums of that line. Somehow we’ve moved on foolish grans mass spamming the emails about people putting tags on your car at the gas station to follow you home… but it’s ‘moved on’ to the insidious new middle-aged twats on facebook losing their minds about shit like kids being kidnapped from their school by secret russian/chinese/iranian/democrat black-ops teams.