Hello breathing Humans! Hope ur day is going great!
As a title says, last 2 months I’ve been aware of something I have which I didn’t realise for 1+ years, I’ve been daydreaming since some parental restrictions on my life (not being able to use the internet , going outside, talking to strangers,etc) as a way to cope with my life problems. I have no idea what other types of mental disorders I have and I won’t self-diagnose myself on it. So back to the question. I daydream for like half of my day. Especially when I’m done using my phone or get bored, it interferes with my life so deeply I literally wake up, and daydream until I realise I should go back to my room. Sometimes I don’t realise I’m walking around the house and daydreaming until I snap back to reality, even my sister accuses me of “talking to ghosts “ or someone else they don’t see, is this normal or do I need to check myself for a doctor? Or a professional? Speaking of these 2, my family sometimes threatens me to take me to a doctor for not being able to speak properly, help and advice is appreciated, this is my first time here so I apologise if I did something a lil off or wrong,
(And last thing I live in Saudi Arabia, noticed this rule so I typed it here, again sorry)
I was an only child. Isolated. Moved a lot. I daydreamed constantly from the age of about 11 to adulthood. Elaborate long running daydreams. Full on world building with multiple characters and plot lines that carried over from day to day. And yes, dialogue was part of it.
You’re not ill, you’re coping with stress and this is a lot healthier way to do so than many. You’re turning inward because outward is difficult right now.
But to add to your coping mechanism, I recommend taking up writing as a hobby. Build yourself some worlds on paper. Creative writing can ease a lot of boredom and be a great outlet for that creative imagination and to alleviate stress. Write some stories. They don’t have to be any good. But throw some of that mental load onto paper, it’ll help. Poetry can be fun too but I found world building and writing stories the best.
It gives some structure and could potentially get people off your back. You’re plotting your stories not muttering madness. You just have lots of ideas and creativity brewing! You’ll be alright.
I’d say you should look into the term “maladaptive daydreaming”. (Not a diagnosis. More of a symptom.) There’s nothing wrong with daydreaming itself. It’s when it causes problems in your life that it’s “maladaptive.” Just reading what you said about it, you said you daydream “as a way to cope with… life problems” and “it interferes with my life so deeply”.
This also kindof sounds like daydreaming may be a way by which you dissociate. If you look up “dissociation” on the internet, you’ll likely see things about DPDR wherein everything feels ureal or other more severe-sounding symptoms. Of course, if those things sound like they describe your experience, that’s an insight that might help you. But escaping into a fantasy to deal with problems in your life can definitely qualify as a form of dissociation.
Aside from that, I don’t want to diagnose you or anything, but it might be worth looking into Schizoid Personality Disorder (SzPD). That would be a diagnosis, not just a symptom. But if you end up reading the Wikipedia page on it and it feels like your experience, and if you end up talking to a therapist, it probably couldn’t hurt to bring it up. If you think it matches you, that is. If your therapist agrees, they may have you evaluated for that condition specifically. It’s not a disorder that psychologists tend to know enough about to think to bring it up to you. And people with SzPD can often times be misdiagnosed ad something else. Which is why I bring it up. Again, though, I’m only suggesting that you look at the Wikipedia page and see if it feels familiar. Nothing more.
Finally, just on the basis that you seem to be struggling with this, I do think that if your able, you could definitely get some benefit from a therapist.
I looked into the wiki page, and it does , specifically the part of environment factors, thanks for helping me man, appreciated it, I’m gonna do more research on it
Appreciated the help, I’ve seen the term “dissociation “ earlier today, and I also know about maladaptive daydream disorder as I said 2 months ago. a friend of mine sent a picture about the key difference between these 2, and I can assure you I relate to both or experienced it. Note that despite my family threatening me to take me to a doctor to see if “I am insane” , they actually won’t pay a penny for it, or for a therapist. They just rudely and negatively threatens me for a purpose of probably to make me afraid or just to make me mad cuz they know I get angry very fast, otherwise they will never do anything about me or my mental health, forgot to add, I don’t have access to professionals or doctors unfortunately So I can’t get diagnosed or even checked up
It is not helpful to think in terms of insane, but I get that this is language your family uses. More useful is thinking in what way you’re coping or suffering. How you manage to go through your day. Only you can judge that. Daydreaming is a wonderful expression of imagination until it becomes so excessive that it is destructive to your life. The other poster suggested to look into schizoid pd: while this is useful to know about, the takeaway should be that one would favour daydreaming above anything else. Sacrifice all social relationships to spend time internally. This isn’t about imagination or creativity anymore but a way to safeguard oneself from the outside, from other people to step too close or challenges encountered in life, etc. From your description i doubt that this fits, but again only you know yourself well enough to judge that. When talking about dissociation / derealisition / depersonalisation, there’s usually a component of trauma to it. One mightn’t be aware of what it is (whatever brought it about might seem normal), or one might suffer in other ways whereas one’s peers just seem not to (common experiences with neurodivergent folks who are not aware of it). All this just to say to learn about yourself is essential, to foster self awareness and all that, which is challenging when you’re young and have no access to therapy. In lieu of that you could confide a good friend or someone i your family who you trust.
From what you say, it seems you spend most of your day at home with a family that does not support you but often attacks you. Be it true or your point of view, being stuck in such an environment is not great for your mental health. Before jumping to diagnoses, it is worth considering if what you experience is a reaction to your environment. To do this, I would encourage you to find sources of comfort:
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physical activities that make you feel fulfilled (knitting? Clay sculpture? Baking? Coding? Anything, really)
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social activities that allow you to connect with others (volunteering? Animal shelters? Old people home? A course of some type? Church related activities?)
I also want to point out: social interaction is something we learn how to do. That’s why kids are odd and teenagers are weird: they are still mastering the social skills necessary for a “normal” interaction. If you are not exposed to any social interactions other than the confrontational ones with your family, you will not refine your social skills, and social settings will remain stressful. It’s normal to be a bit weird :)
About finding social activities, think about something that is positively viewed in your society (that’s why I proposed a lot of volunteering) such that your parents will have a harder time stopping you from going. Think about what your parents are more likely to support. It doesn’t matter where you start, the important is starting!
I understand your doubts about online connections, but remember that in person there are snakes too, don’t open up too quickly. You are particularly vulnerable, so be a bit guarded at the beginning and don’t share critical information about yourself.
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Are you a teenager? It can be a rather stressful time of life. Your hormones are going crazy, and it’s not uncommon to dissociate a bit when there’s no escape from the source of the stress. If you have friends, spend time with them or try a phone call. Personally I’ve stopped doing video calls because it feels too much like a performance and it gets in the way of human connection. Hopefully that’s an option. If not, the best you can do is try to cope with your stressors in positive ways. Find creative outlets if there are no social ones. Let your feelings really be felt, don’t just push them away. Maybe your daydreams are calling you to write some fiction?
I just woke up but that’s the advice I think I needed when I was young and stressed, and doing a lot of daydreaming.
I am a teenager yes, and I don’t have friends to spend time with, I grew up lonely since young age, only had temporary friends who don’t talk to me anymore, I’m usually an introvert and I always be quite whenever I’m with my relatives or strangers, i get heated up whenever someone approaches me cuz I don’t know how to reply, mostly because my siblings are a snitch. And shame me in front of my parents. Making me look like a criminal for simply not “being a human” in front of people. according to them… . And this makes me think I’m mentally fracturing. Insane even,
I’ve been there, it’s hell. The hormonal swings do get easier in your twenties, but mean people will keep on sucking. I don’t know enough about the mental health system in your country to give any specific advice about what is worth pursuing. I know you need people though - kind people in your life who you can talk to (not online). Romance, trustworthy friends, and genuine joy might be the only things you need to thrive. You might also need mental health support if the daydreams, or the interpersonal difficulties you mentioned, aren’t manageable. Almost everyone daydreams sometimes, but it’s not the best way to deal with stress if the source of the issues are still there when the daydream is over. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with someone other than the fact that they’re surrounded by assholes, you know? Have you thought about volunteering at a library or something like that? People who do volunteer work are generally quite kind, it can be a good place to meet people.
Have you thought about volunteering at a library or something like that?
Nope I haven’t , I doubt if there’s even one in my country, again I don’t go outside much so idk any library, but it will be cool if I can.
I know you need people though - kind people in your life who you can talk to (not online).
Yes. I wish my childhood friends stayed with me, kept in contact in some way
I found it difficult to make friends online, honestly I had the worst experience, an online friend of mine literally shared a very private and sensitive information about me and made it public. And after this , I realised that some people online doesn’t care about you, even if both of you and him/her consider each other friends, they will either just be rude, or block you . Maybe even go as far as shamelessly says he hates you in public, I saw this and to this day I keep thinking of the guy who said it, so that’s why I don’t take online friendships seriously anymore. Anyways ima go, I appreciate anyone who commented in this post. Finally i can relief the stuff have been in my chest for days
In general it’s super common to daydream all the time. Maintaining yourself in the mindful present is a skill you have to learn. Most people are generally not mindfully present in their lives. You may want to try something like zen or breathing meditation, anything to bring you back to the present when you start to drift.
